Subject: The new American language
The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phased plan
for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil
servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased
with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by f". This will make words like "fotograf"
20 per sent shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to
akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the
languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z"
and "w" by "v".
During yer 5, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou", and
similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. Und
efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst
KLEINOFEN? Doesn't that mean, "small oven?" I love it.
My maiden name is GOTH, by the way; yes, I come from a long line of Germanic barbarians. Paints a feminine picture, no? ;):P:D
Yup! And I love to bake but too bad I can't eat what I bake anymore :rolleyes:
"long line of Germanic barbarians.."