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huggleybear C.W. Huggley Bears
Statham, GA
Posts: 281

I thought you may all get a chuckle out of this story.  My husband of 36 years decided that he wanted to be free and be 20 years old again because he was sure that the grass was greener on the other side.  The in mid August he changed his mind and then in February decided that freedom was the path he wanted to take.  Okay, so this has been a very stressful year to say the least. 

That isn't the point of the story ...  just a background.  I have been in my own place for almost the entire year.  I brought my two kitties with me.  Maggie is my 11 year old little girl who has never given me one minute of trouble.  So when she started piddling on my bed this week, I took her to the vet thinking she may have a health issue causing her to do this.   Well, one afternoon and a lot of testing later, the vet told me she was stressed and put her on Paxil.  I have never heard of a cat being on a drug like this.  I can only laugh at this situation.  I have been crying, coping, trying to make sense of what has happened to me this year and duh, my cat can't cope and has to be put on medication.  How stressful can eating, sleeping and playing all day be? 

Am I crazy for thinking this is ironic? 

Thanks for letting me vent a little!      bear_cry

jenny Three O'clock Bears
warwickshire uk
Posts: 4,413
Website

Hi Cindy...Our cat started to do this...is she a house cat? We cured her by getting Feliway spray and spraying it around her cat litter..we got a covered litter tray and placed it with the door facing a wall in a quiet place with enough room for her to get in and not be watched doing her business. She has probably had a scare and needs to feel safe..and if cats don't feel safe then they do things like this. Mimi was cured almost instantly..i helped her into her litter tray once and that was it..I think our other cat had scared her....but this worked like a charm and the Feliway spray (cat pheromones) helps too. It relaxes them...I bet she's fine really just a bit freaked about some little thing!!!

Dilu Posts: 8,574

Oh Cindy!

First I am very sorry for the pain and confusion your year has been ....yuck!  No fun at all!
a108.gif
I hate it when men get confused about the best thing that ever happened to them.  if I could I'd slap each one of them up the side of the head and tell them to wake up and stop being such an idiot. c050.gif

Secondly, your poor little Maggie!  Ironic it is.  my girly cat has IBS just like her mom....and we have the same medication, different doses, for when problems crop up.

For a while the vet wanted to put Kirah on prozac....I used to call it Birdie-prozac....she's a parrot.  She solved the problem.  She refused to touch anything with it in it.  Even chocolate and we all know chocolate is one of the 4 birdie food groups, along with salt, fat and sugar...

So yes it is amusing and sad and frustrating.  They do pick up on our conditions don't they?

piddling in the middle of the bed surely did get mom's attention didn't it.

Poor baby....give her a tummy rub for me....she sounds like a stalwart friend!

I am hoping your next year will be better and sending you best wishes!  Pretty picture, by the way.... n090.gif

Amanda Pandy Potter Bears
Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 1,864

Good on you, I think you are beginning to to see the funny side of life, your cat is on pills to cure depression and you have had to cope on your own! Oh to be a cat! Hey was'nt that a Disney song? You hang in there matey, your cat will get better then its time for it to look after you! If we did'nt laugh, we would cry! bear_cry  You look after yourself. :hug: I think you are one tough cookie, even if it does'nt always feel that way. :hug:  :hug:

huggleybear C.W. Huggley Bears
Statham, GA
Posts: 281

Thank you all very much!

Jenny: She is a house cat.  She still uses her box but also my bed...grrrrr.  I will try your suggestions.  The vet said that she might be trying to send me a message.  Uhhhh...now I have to read her mind or interpret her actions.  Laughing here.   This only gets funnier.  My husband has a 500 square ft effeciency apt and he took 2 cats and the dog and they all live in this tiny little closet and they never have a problem.  I have 2 cats and a 1200 sq ft apt that is certainly big enough for me and two cats and we are having all sorts of craziness.   :crackup:

Dilu:  Thank you for your kind words and thoughts.  It is ironic how our animals can react to our moods and such.  Men....???...I have spent far too much time and energy trying to understand what has happened.  Enough!  Now it's time for me.  If you spend all your energy worrying about yesterday and tomorrow, you have none left to enjoy "today". 

Amanda: Thank you...no, I  have not felt very strong this past year but I am still here and getting better every day! I will have to check out Maggies Paxil.  I may have to give her one and take a couple for myself.  Why should she be the only one that is relaxed...hahaha!

Thank you all so much for caring!   bear_grin  Don't know what I would do if not for friends like you  bear_flower

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 20,996

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

You're doing GREAT, Cindy . . . can't believe that ex of yours (or is he an ex yet?) is taking you on a see-saw ride!  Shame on him!!  You have my total admiration.  Evidently, little Maggie is not quite as good at coping as her mom is, but we do what we can to make everything easier for our pets.  Hope the Paxil works for her . . . it surely is helpful to me!!

Mitch2052 Blue Valley Bears
Posts: 770
Website

Dear Cindy,
Sorry to here you have been having a hard time, I guess your little kitty has been picking up on your feelings. You should concentrate on what is best for you and what will make you smile a little more each day. I hope things improve for you and Maggie real soon.
:hug:  :hug:  :hug:
Cheers Susan

Laurie Laurie Lou Bears
Norfolk
Posts: 3,246

Hi Cindy and Maggie,
I expect your cat could be picking up on your own insecurities at the moment and it is making her feel the same herself.If possible try to keep her out of the bedroom unless you can watch her so you can try and break the habit making sure her tray is always clean so she has no excuse.Then when you can trust her start letting her in again and keep an eye on her so she doesn't start again.In the meantime mind she does not try to do this  elsewhere.Sometimes it is possible to break the cycle especially as she hasn't always done it and maybe when you feel a bit better so will she.As for medication I always try to avoid it(unless it is necessary)-you just need to get to the bottom of the problem and pills will not help you to do this.Try not to get too annoyed with her as this will only make her worse. I hope this is of some use to you.
Laurie :hug:

makafelts Charlotte Des Roches Designs
Adkins, Texas
Posts: 1,543

Cindy,
That's a rough thing to be going thru...and our kritters do pick up on our moods...I would try to find some Bach Rescue Remedy at a local health food store...it's a wonderful gentle flower remedy for those who have been thru trauma...and is very good for 2 leggers & their 4 leggers...and way better than drugs... :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:
Hugs,

lulubears Posts: 280

I have a son who was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder, and I swear, when he took the medicine, I felt better.  If I went to the pharmacist to get it refilled and they were out, I always made it real clear they better find some.  Ha!  On a lighter note, my cat of 18 years had never once had an accident and suddenly starting using the middle of our bed to piddle in. (Of course, it was always about midnight when I would have to get up to change the sheets!)  Turns out she had a urinary tract infection.  A nice round of antibiotics cured her and she never did it again.  While the antibiotics were certainly a godsend, I might have been feeling even better just knowing my cat had a prescription of paxil in case I needed it.  Hang in there! 

Hugs,
Luann

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Oh Dear, Cindy!

I've been thinking about you but selfishly been wrapped up in my own 'stuff' and haven't been able to keep track of anyone!!!

Having two very hyper-sensitive dogs who pick up on my every mood, insecurity, indecision, stress, etc. I'm figuring it's the same for cats. My husband has severe acid reflux with a precancerous condition in his esophagus which he's currently going through tests for to determine if he can have a necessary operation. Anyway, one of our dogs has developed a good case of acid reflux himself. Does he really know what Daddy is suffering from? Is it because I've been gone for almost 3 weeks with my Dad and that's stressed him out?

I have tried the Bach Rescue Remedy as I'd heard many good things about it. For one of our dogs it altered chemicals or something in his brain that caused an adverse effect..... all of his symptoms or 'off' behaviors were magnified instead of calmed. Just my experience.

There are lots of good suggestions here. Something is bound to work. I'd take the Paxil myself if I were you! That would probably fix Maggie too! :)

Huge Hugs,
Daphne

MerBear MerBear Originals
Brockville, Ontario
Posts: 1,540

My vet wanted to give paxil to one of my bostons years ago. He's very sensitive and after I had clipped his claws, without incident, he started hiding under the bed when I came home each evening. Instead of the paxil, when I got home I would leash him to me for the evening. After a few nights he realized I wasn't going to kill him and he got over his fear.  :crackup:
I can understand your cat being upset with what you've been through. Cats don't like disruption in their routines and the paxil might help. As quoted by others..it helped me! I work in a law office and it's amazing the husbands (and wives) who want out of long-term marriages these days. I actually did a divorce a couple of years ago for a couple who had been married over 50 years .... I guess they were waiting for the kids to die or something. Just crazy.

Marion

huggleybear C.W. Huggley Bears
Statham, GA
Posts: 281

Thank you all so much for your hugs and suggestions.  I have been going to counseling and have a great support group.  So things are much better than they were.  Maggie is my baby and I am sure we will get through this rough patch and all will be just fine.

I have been away from anything bear related for so long and now want to dive back in but really feel out of the loop.  I have not made a new bear in so long...lost the creativity due to the craziness in my life.  But I am working on that too.

My oldest son found out that he has to go to Iraq in August so we are having a family reunion at his house in Kansas this weekend.  All my sons and their families will be together for the first time in a few years so this will be a special time. 

After reading all your responses I felt so much better to have friends like you guys.  You really make a difference!

Everyone have a great weekend!   :dance:

Amanda Pandy Potter Bears
Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 1,864

I'm glad you feel better Cindy. Just dive back in with bear making, I'm not as active in the summer but its nice to do the bits I do. Hang in there. :hug:

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Cindy,
Once you dive in and make that first bear it'll feel like you'd never stopped and you'll remember how satisfying bear making is and what great therapy it can be!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!
Hugs,
Daphne

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,642

Cindy,
     What a horrible year you've had - I'm really glad things are starting to get better for you.  Our 35th anniversary is coming up in September, and I can only imagine the emotional upheaval you have been through.  It sounds like you are getting stronger each day, and remember, you are much better off alone that with someone who doesn't care about you!  Bear making is such a stress reliever - you should try making one again, and I'll bet it will feel wonderful. 
     I hope your reunion is wonderful, this weekend.   All the TT mums on this board will have to wrap their prayers and good wishes around your son, when he leaves for Iraq.  Have a great weekend and take care.

                                                   Hugs  :hug:

                                                   Brenda

Shelli SHELLI MAKES
Chico, California
Posts: 9,939
Website

Shelli Retired Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

Cindy's a real trooper and a survivor; I have no doubts she could survive just about anything life tosses her way, with great spirit to boot.

:hug:

Hey, with all this talk of Paxil -- feline and otherwise -- I just feel I have to say, if I'm being responsible to my friends here, who might at some point consider taking it, that it's not the best drug for everyone, and can have some serious and/or annoying side effects. 

Like all medications, it works better, with less side effects, for some people, than for others. 

But it's legendary for being nearly impossible to stop -- the weaning process is said to be slow and difficult -- and, well, for "unwanted sexual side effects." 

I'm not sure how important all of this might be to your cat... but a cat migraine, when it's time to stop kitty's dosage, might not be a pleasant thing to experience!  And for humans... well, my husband is a therapist, and he and the doctors and therapists he works with (he has both a private and a county practice) think that, for most people (not all; everyone is different) there are other equally, or even more, effective drugs, which have significantly fewer undesirable side effects.

About seven years ago now, when Prozac and Paxil were pretty much the only "new" anti-depressant, anti-anxiety drugs around, I took Paxil for about four days, due to unexplained lethargy around the time of my divorce, which might have been masked depression or anxiety about the future -- even though I didn't FEEL depressed or anxious .  I stopped the Paxil almost as soon as I started it, because my blood panel came back showing hypothyroidism, which explained that lethargy perfectly! 

But I have to say, I felt totally high as a kite, completely loaded, drifty, and pretty much light-headedly out of my nut for those entire four days, and got a whopper of a headache stopping, even at a very low dose, and taking it for a very short time indeed.  As for the rest of the purported side effects, I will say only this:  BELIEVE WHAT YOU HEAR.

Just wanted to share...

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,642

Shelli,
     Good friends of ours have a son that had problems, and a psychiatrist gave him Paxil at AGE 10!!!   This child totally lost it, kicking out the windshield of their car, throwing a 20 lb ceramic rabbit down the staircase at his mum, and firing apples at her as well.  It all happened when his dad was away on business and she ended up having to call the police to get things under conrol. She called the psychiatrist to the house to see the damage, and talk to the police and then promply got rid of him.  Turns out now, that Paxil is recommended NEVER to be given to a child.  She switched to another psychiatrist and finally got her son diagnosed properly as bi-polar.  Paxil is one drug I would never take. 

                                                      hugs,

                                                      Brenda

Shelli SHELLI MAKES
Chico, California
Posts: 9,939
Website

Shelli Retired Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

Brenda, what you describe is actually a possible side effect of just about any anti-depressant, anti-anxiety medication for ANY child.  And this includes the "newer" formulas, too, like Wellbutrin, which is generally considered (at this writing, anyway) to be fairly benign.

For reasons that medical experts don't entirely understand, these medications sometimes actually encourage suicidalityin children -- not in adults.  So a parent who gives a child anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication is supposed to be sternly and clearly warned by doctors and pharmacists that, in children, these drugs can sometimes have an OPPOSITE effect of what is intended, with personality change, sudden, deep depression, and suicide as possible outcomes.  In fact, these pills come with this very warning in their literature, and sometimes on the bottle itself.

Kinda puts a parent between a rock and a hard place, when a parent has a child with depression, or an anxiety disorder, that COULD benefit from medication, IF the medication does what it's supposed to do.

I'm glad your friends got their own situation sorted out before it got too out of hand.

huggleybear C.W. Huggley Bears
Statham, GA
Posts: 281

Thank you for the information Shelli.  I am not a big fan of those drugs anyhow.  When I was going through one of the more difficult times in Feb., my doc put me on Lexapro which I took for a couple of weeks.  Didn't really see a difference so I stopped. I have learned that you have to go through the pain of it all (to a certain degree and depending on how servere) and feel your feelings so that you can deal with them and heal.  But if the depression and pain is so servere that you are considering harm to yourself or someone else, that is an entirely different story. 

Back to my point. The paxil that the vet gave me for Maggie is 10 mg per pill. He told me to cut them into 4ths and give her 1/4 a pill a day.  When I got home I gave her one and she just disappeared for awhile and I couldn't find her.  I attributed this to the anxiety from the vet visit and having her temp taken which she really did not appreciate.  But she slept under a chair all night and only came out once in the morning before I went to work. Very uncharacteristic of her.  She was just very slow and not herself.   bear_wacko I was concerned and decided the paxil is not for her.  I will deal with her "behavior problem" another way.

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,642

Cindy,
    I think you are absolutely right - if we keep masking our underlying problems and stresses, nothing really gets dealt with, especially the emotional stuff.  We really do have to learn how to heal ourselves.  Medications like these certainly have their place, with people in such despair they can't cope, but for the most part I think they are handed our too often. 
     Before we found out about the ADD in our family, my sisters and I had all had issues and were all just prescribed anti-deprressants.  They just made things worse for us.  I now have ritalin, which I use sparingly when under a lot of stress, but for the most part, have learned enough about myself to cope pretty much on my own.
     I'm glad your kitty is off the Paxil.  There have to be other ways to deal with the issue.  Could she be missing the other animals that went with your hubby?  Anyway, good luck with the problem.

                                                hugs,

                                                Brenda

Helena Bears-a-Bruin!
Macclesfield, UK
Posts: 1,291

Cindy, I'm full of admiration for the way you seem to be coping with a dreadful and emotional situation. Well done to you! Stay positive as much as possible and things will get better. Much better. And give Maggie a cuddle for me :).

Daphne wrote:

I have tried the Bach Rescue Remedy as I'd heard many good things about it. For one of our dogs it altered chemicals or something in his brain that caused an adverse effect..... all of his symptoms or 'off' behaviors were magnified instead of calmed. Just my experience.

Daphne, I think I'm right in saying that this is the way flower remedies such as Bach sometimes work....and it has happened to me, too! It's called a healing crisis and is usually temporary. It has something to do with the negative emotions that we normally suppress, which are then released upon taking the remedy.

:hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

Cindy, these days nothing surpises me anymore.
Along the lines of everyone eles has mentioned, medicine, just like medical arts, is not an exact science and what works for one person will not work for another.  There is so much trial and error involved, and it's the error  that we hear about the most.    I do believe that some people really need medications due to chemical imbalances but too often peopl euse it as a way to hide problems that could otherwise be resolved  If you can do without..I think your'e almost better off.

Here's a BIG VIRTUAL HUG for YOU and your KITTY

((((((((((((( :hug:  bear_wub  :hug: ))))))))))))

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