Teddy Talk: Creating, Collecting, Connecting

For artists and collectors sponsored by Intercal...your mohair supplier and Johnna's Mohair Store

Active | Unanswered

Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

Judi May 20, 2006

Hi guys. I just had to shre these with you. My dad sent these to me and I laughed until I cried.

Happy SATURDAY!

>
> Can you cry under water?
>
> How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
>
> Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?
>
> Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
>
> Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
>
> What disease did cured ham actually have?
>
> How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
>
> Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
>
> Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
>
> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
>
> Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
>
>

> just things I think about
>
> Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
>
> Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
>
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
> Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
>
> If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
> Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
>
> Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
>
> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?