Skip to main content

Banner Sponsors

Shelli Makes - Teddy bears & other cheerful things by Shelli Quinn
No Monkey Biz - Domain name registration, hosting

Donna A Brandon Bears
Fort Worth Texas
Posts: 98

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment that sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now, this all sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's fantastic...it's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This, of course, only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bottom started to feel a burning sensation. I pulled the hose out from my back, thinking that maybe the water was too hot, but the damage was done.
In agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it directly into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I had scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish, and all of its poisonous, stinging tentacles, into the crack of my bottom.
I immediately informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my bottom was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your bottom.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.

Mo Beary Mo Bear Designs
Redcliff, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,536
Website

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Jane

sarahjane Brisbane
Posts: 2,951

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

makafelts Charlotte Des Roches Designs
Adkins, Texas
Posts: 1,543

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup: That's a really bad day!!!

Hugs &

pma2003 Seamore Collectibles
CT
Posts: 451

"Butt" if he had only known..... :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Katrina's Miniatures Katrina's Miniatures
Posts: 358
Website

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:
Thanks for sharing!! :crackup:

rosebearcottage Rose Bear Cottage
Lake Gregory, California
Posts: 284

Oh my. I laughed so hard I'm crying.  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

doodlebears Doodlebears
UK
Posts: 7,414

doodlebears Celebration Ambassador

Oh boy that's so funny, I have tears coming down my face BUTT I bet that poor guy shed more tears of a different kind...I wonder if they still use the hose pipe!  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin

Thanks for sharing that with us Donna.

Hugs Jane.  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

puca bears puca bears
Posts: 1,934

OUCH.....but :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:
huggies
Maria

Stitch SanguineCreations
Wales
Posts: 395

Ouch!  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:
I just have to pass this on. It's so funny.

LisaAP Arcas designs
Posts: 941
Website

Oh my!!  bear_shocked  bear_wacko  bear_laugh

Board footer

Powered by FluxBB

Banner Sponsors


Intercal Trading Group - Your mohair supplier
Tedsby - Handmade teddy bears and other cute stuffed animals. Hundreds of teddy artists from all over the world and thousands of OOAK creations.