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Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

Hi guys.  I just had to shre these with you. My dad sent these to me and  I laughed until I cried.

Happy SATURDAY!

>
> Can you cry under water?
>
> How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
>
> Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...  but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?  Where's that extra penny going?
>
> Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
>
> Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
>
> What disease did cured ham actually have?
>
> How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
>
> Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
>
> Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
>
> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
>
> Why do doctors leave the room while you change?  They're going to see you naked anyway.
>
>   

>   just things I think about
>
> Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
>
> Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
>
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
> Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  They're both dogs!
>
> If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
> Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
>
> Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
>
> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

lemmonbears Lemmon Bears
Oregon Coast
Posts: 303
SunnieOne Sunnie Bears
Ridgecrest, CA
Posts: 1,167

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  as I sing A B C D E F G

TamiL Dolls N Dreams
Aurora, Colorado
Posts: 6,454

bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin
Hey Judi , those are good!! LOL

patsylakebears Patsy Lake Bears
Sydney
Posts: 3,442

Good one Judi ... bear_thumb  bear_thumb

doodlebears Doodlebears
UK
Posts: 7,414

doodlebears Celebration Ambassador

I must show my kids these Judi  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin  thanks so much, I needed a laugh right now!

Hugs Jane.  bear_flower

Eileen Baird'sBears
Toronto
Posts: 3,873

:crackup: Great stuff, Judi . . . singing here too! :crackup:

Eileen

Winney Winneybears and Friends
White City, Oregon
Posts: 1,103

Funny...good Judi...Winney

Jane Perala Jane Perala Designs Ltd.
Vancouver Island, B.C., Canada
Posts: 819

Good chuckles Judi!

Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

Glad you like them.  I am a HUGE believer in the positive power of laughter.

You don't stop laughing when you grow old.....
You grow old when you stop laughing.

Never stop laughing! bear_laugh  bear_laugh  bear_laugh  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

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