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Tammy Beckoning Bears
Nova Scotia
Posts: 3,739
Website

This has nothing to do with bears, and I don't mean to be negative , but I just needed to "talk" this out for my own sanity !  Does  anyone have any experience with this that can offer any advice ???

On Friday there was a huge brawl at my son's high school.   This is his first year there and this is the second time the police have been called.  This time 14 students were arrest and about 100 were involved in the fight.  Over 25 police cars and several other emergency vehicles responded.  Some students had to be pepper sprayed.  The school was on lockdown all afternoon while police monitored the halls.  I only found out after my son  arrived home.  School was cancelled for today so the teachers could make a plan.

Needless to say I was very upset.  This violence is all new to me and my family.  I know school fights are nothing new, but this day and age you never know how far it will escalate.

To make matters worse, a rival high school about 1/2 km away had the same thing happen today.  30 police cars and  more arrests. including assaulting police officers.  There is just no respect for authority anymore.

Where does it end ?  I am so worried that something terrible is going to happen before this gets under control.  School needs to be a safe place for learning.  I'm afraid to send him back tomorrow.  Good grief, parenting never gets any easier  bear_sad

minkbears Vintage Mink Bears by Kathy Myers
Lakewood CA
Posts: 1,387
Website

Oh my goodness, Tammy, how terrible. I live in Southern California and unfortunately it is not unusual for big fights to happen on school grounds here. Around here it usually has to do with gangs. I can't offer any solutions since I home-schooled my daughter and it was the best decision that I ever made.

:hug:
Kathy

Marlys Waggle Bears
So Cal Desert
Posts: 4,089

I can't offer any advice, but I certainly understand your concern. I hope the school administration takes steps to address the issue before it happens again. :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

K Pawz Guest

I am with you Tammy!!! IT is scary! I live in BC and my 18 year old son goes to the rival high school you speak of that had the huge outbreak of violence, I have been on pins and needles all day waiting to hear from him and how he is....luckily he wasn't involved in anything and is home safe and sound.

This unfortunatley has been going on with this particular school for quite some time now, with the same issues as well. When I lived in Dartmouth I went to the high school you speak of when a snowball fight started a huge huge war at the school and it wasn't a fun time at all!!! I just don't get it at all, you would think they would find a way to end this violence that has been going on for the same reasons for years!

as for a solution, we're in the same boat Tammy my friend....even if I were to move my son here to BC the High Schools here have the same problems! I have considered private school, but they cost soooooo much! but may be worth more investigation!


hugs,
Krista

desertmountainbear desertmountainbear
Bloomsburg, PA
Posts: 5,399

Out here in Arizona we are fortunate to have charter schools.  They are a much smaller alternative, and a much more strict when it comes to behavior.  I sent my daughter to one for the first year and a half of high school.  This year around Christmas we decided to let her finish high school online.  A great decision for her.  I don't know what is happening with kids. They have gotten mean.  She just can't handle the meanness.  You need to feel safe sending your kids to school, if you don't consider other options.
Joanne

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,645

Tammy, I feel for you - I'm glad I don't have kids in high school anymore, but we do have a grandson and it scares me to think what things will be like when he grows up.  Sending hugs and warm thoughts for you.

                                           hugs,

                                           Brenda

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

The things that happen in schools today and the lack of respect so many kids seem to have for.. well... everything and everyone... is simply disgraceful.... though in many cases its not the child's fault. But that's another whole discussion entirely!

Tammy... and Krista too... I fear right along with you. I don't hear of huge fights like this going on in New England but I suppose that doesn't mean it hasn't happened. There is so much that goes on in schools today that just isn't right and no one seems to be doing anything about it. It makes me sooo disgusted and sick. I KNOW I'd home school my kids if I had any. In fact, that's becoming a very big 'thing' here which should be sending a message to the public school systems but apparently it's not. Have parents joined together to confront the powers that be in the school system to instill more diligence on the teachers and supervisor's parts, perhaps have a more strict schedule, no free time or periods during the day? Hall monitors, campus police, etc.? Is this even happening during the day or after school?

Pray, Tammy, pray! I know you've instilled very strong values and respect in your son. If he has a choice to get involved or not he'll do the right thing. If he gets in the middle of this nonsense unwillingly all you can do is hope and pray anyway.

Lots of hugs to you, my dear! I'm sorry that's all I can offer! :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

K Pawz Guest

I think one of the biggest problems is that the teachers are also scared of the students and won't say boo to them for fear of violence against themselves.....the police also have no control over the situations either, today at the uproar in the school police officers were getting beaten to pulps as well! One of my son's friends dad who is a police officer was beaten and stomped on the ground by a bunch of the offenders suffering broken ribs and multiple other injuries. If the police aren't even safe from the students how can the students be from each other??? all in all it is a situation that has been allowed to go unchecked for years and is just getting worse as kids get braver and less afraid of consequences...It was back in 1986 that I attended this school and the same thing was happening then, and in the years since then has been allowed to escalate.

SCAREY!!!!!!

my son had moved here with me for a few months, and I thought I had gotten him away from all of this, but he missed his friends and dad too much and just recently moved back.

Hugs,
Krista

Bubble-Up Bears Bubble Up Bears!
Murrieta, California
Posts: 1,804

Hi Tammy,
I hear ya!! I live is a supposedly nice area and I do but we have seen a big change since the housing market took a dump!! Lots of gangs now.
I won't go into a big story but let it be said I have seen my fair share.
We are a racially mixed family. My husband and I are white and our daughter is black. I say black because she does not like to be called African American. She says she is just an American. bear_original A black one. bear_original Silly kid!! Got to love her! bear_wub
Anyway we have seen it all. I home schooled until I became to ill and had to put her in school. From the 5th grade on she has been in public school. She has been threaten, beat up, hit with rocks and food, spit on and laughed at. Told by one kid he was a member of the KKK and she was going to die. Then he acted like his finger was a gun and shot at her. Like I said we have seen it all!
It's very frightening but my advise is if you can't take you child out of public school then get as involved as much you can. Be at the school as much as possible. Listen. Keep your eyes open and don't be afraid to keep your child home. Get the work from school and keep him home until things blow over. High School was the worse for us!!!! All of this happened during her years at high school!! I was in the office all the time. I even sat in class making sure kids that were threatening my daughter knew I was there watching their every move.
I know you problem is more the whole school being in a state of despair but the same goes. You want to protect your son like I wanted to protect my daughter. And you can make a difference. Be there and get involve. bear_original
I wish you the best. bear_original

Tammy Beckoning Bears
Nova Scotia
Posts: 3,739
Website

Thanks so much everyone for your comments ,hugs, and concern.  I am sorry for those of you that have had to deal with this too.  Cindy, what a nigtmare for your daughter.  Krista, I'll keep your son in my prayers too.  I am so sorry to hear about that police officer being injured.  I heard the sirens yesterday then heard about this second outbreak right away.  I think sometimes the kids that are involved think it is all a big joke.  They just don't care.  Krista, you are right that the teachers are intimidated too as this has been going on for years at your son's school.   

I've spoken with other parents and there is hope of a group meeting with the school officials to get this violence under control.  I will get involved. You know  I will be doing some serious praying too  Daphne bear_original

Angela Angela's Bear Garden
St. Catharines, Ontario
Posts: 495

I'm sorry you have experienced this violence so close to home. I do so agree with prayer! There is no easy answer to the escalating violence in schools and everywhere else! If you live in fear, you can get to the point where you won't go anywhere, but you can experience violence at home too. The major problem with many of our youth is they have no hope for the future but they are passionate about the present. So many of us are single moms trying to raise our kids right, with little or no input from the dads. Dads used to be the first image of authority in a childs life. No more dads, no more authority, no more respect. It's a sad reality in our 'modern' society.
We have gangs and violence in our area too. I pray for my kids every day, I pray the protection of God over them. I teach them and show them love. I send them off to school trusting God to protect them. 'Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it' Proverbs 22:6
My son got involved with gangs a few years ago...it was really hard. I had to learn to listen and walk out the love I had been teaching him! I can say it works! He went through some really tough spots, including jail, but love has won out! He has turned his life around and he loves his mom so much now bear_wub  He didn't have his dad growing up, and he felt ripped off and angry. Drugs, alcohol and violence are the way these kids try to cover the loneliness, hurts and fears.
The only way this problem in our society will be solved is to instill strong moral values in our children while they are young. We can still win over many of the older kids with hope and love, but it's much harder. We also need to see the authority figures in our society living morally right lives. It's a big job!

DebbieD Posts: 3,540

Spare the rod, spoil the child....and in many, many cases, the rod was spared on the parent.   bear_ermm   We are seeing a knock down effect from a lack of respect and discipline amongst the children.  And these children who were allowed to do as they liked are now 'parents'...and boy do I use that term loosely!  The television was allowed to be the babysitter and as the parents had no parameters instilled, they certainly do not pass them onto their children.  I cannot begin to tell you how horrified I was to hear my own niece speaking to my sister in law!  bear_shocked   The child was cursing her mother, backtalking like no tomorrow ~ and no consequences.  It was all I could do to keep my hands still and my mouth shut, and yet, maybe I shouldn't have?  Maybe I've just added to the problems that we'll be seeing in society by not correcting her.  Heavens knows my brother was brought up better than that!  bear_angry

Children need rules and boundaries...and those need to be reinforced at all times.  Yes, its absolutely exhausting, but so is parenting. 

Krista and Tammy, I SOO feel for you both!!!  :hug:  :hug:   And will keep your kids in my thoughts.  Are there any alternatives?  Perhaps a religious school nearby that you could enroll them in?  Or this possible online high school??  Your babies can't learn (no one could) in an environment like that.  I know the teachers get the bad rap too, but honestly, it was up to the parents years ago to instill a respect for elders.  They are teachers, they shouldn't have to be trained in paramilitary tactics in order to teach!

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