Teddy Talk: Creating, Collecting, Connecting

Cool responses! (I didn't even see that last reply until just before I began this post - I was away from this forum for a while.)

I thought I should clarify why I get embarrassed about teddy bears even though I posted this a while ago.

I feel very embarrassed about the bears I own, but most of it (and I can't shake it) has to do with worry, I think:

1) worry about seeming indulgent and uncaring to people who are having a hard time making ends meet in these tough times (actually I am having a hard time with that, too - I am just very fortunate to have a great deal of support from very amazing people)

2) worry that I will make my boyfriend worry about me being "too materialistic" - and also, I worry that he might think I have teddy bears because he isn't giving me enough attention (which isn't true at all! He is amazing and not only takes such great care of me, but gives me lots of love and attention.)

3) worry that my boyfriend will think that my bears take up too much space, or that he won't like them "hanging around" when we are sharing a place - that they'll annoy him in some way. I should mention, I am planning to move in with him and his family soon (see also: hard times mentioned in worry #1).

4) worry that it will be too much cost/effort/expense to hang onto what I have (this worry actually applies to a LOT of other stuff, too; clothes, books, etc.)

5) worry that I will get so attached to the bears that if/when I do ever have to get rid of all or most, it will be a heart-breaking thing that I can't forgive myself for even getting into. By that I mean, my train of thought would go like "Sure, it may have only cost me 99 cents, but if I hadn't spent that in the first place, I would never have had to deal with the tragedy of losing something I enjoyed and turning a good thing into a bad thing. Whereas, if the bear were a gift, I never decided to "get" it. However, I may still have gotten attached to it and would still blame myself if I got rid of it. So, the whole thing turns into a sort of stress, in a way.

6) I am not even sure this counts and I really really don't want it to come across the wrong way (I'm at the point where all I want is to get along and for other people to get along with me - they don't have to love me or even like me, just... not hate me or resent me), but my entire life, my mom has been pointing out how much better my life is than hers "ever was" when she was growing up. I have lived at home for a few years after things went wrong in life and I had to do that or become homeless or something. (It involved a guy who turned out to be alcoholic and abusive - beyond that, I don't want to go into it except that I learned some important lessons like "don't rely on someone else to be right all the time - do your own homework," and some false lessons that I've had to purge to be able to be ok "like don't ever believe a man if he says he loves you or wants to be with you for life") It has taken a lot of hard work from my boyfriend to convince me that he isn't going anywhere and I want to be the best girlfriend I can be - because he more than deserves it and I love him more than anything. I am moving to his place because my parents have to sell the house and move into an apartment where there won't be room for me or for my brother.

I got off-track, (but to preface this, I may still seem off-track) my mom has not been picking up food for the house except for her and my father. My brother and I have been pooling together money to get food to stay fed - but then the leftovers are often eaten by other people. My dad will ask "can the kids join us for lunch?" and she will reply with "there isn't enough food for all of us." If this sounds made up, I understand, but it sadly isn't. She gets mad at me for showering (it wastes water), mad for flushing the toilet downstairs after it is used (it wastes water), and mad when I do laundry (it wastes water). She also gets mad when I eat out or eat at home - it is either "wasting money" or I'm "making too much of a mess." However, as mentioned before, eating at home is not an option because there isn't enough (or any, at times) food here to do so. The last time she came into my room, she sneered at the dozen or so teddy bears on my bed and laughingly said "Your life is soo much better than mine ever was." Another time, it was a comment like "You don't even know how lucky you are," which is far from the truth. For example, I used to get suicidal over being afraid that I couldn't make my own way in this world because I knew the only reason I was (and am) ok is just through the good graces of other people in my life. And though I still worry about how to make my own way, I try not to consider ending it all just because of that, even though it stresses me out that I don't have a job at the moment. I've often hoped that no one else has felt that way with how the world has been lately because its not a great feeling.

Anyways, I have always felt a huge sense of shame, not just about collecting teddy bears, but about merely existing on this planet. I feel like I have no right to be here or that I am not worthy of life or existence, even though that isn't really how I feel. I feel like I do have the right to be here only because I value human life over material possessions, but I also fear being seen as other than that (so again, I worry about what people would think of the bears). I think I only feel that way because I should have been much farther in life by now. So, in my case, my teddy bears serve to remind me that I may have never grown up - I may be just as inept and ineffective at dealing with life, people and the world as I was when I was just a little girl with her Bunny (my first teddy was not a teddy - it was a white rabbit that seemed like it used to be bigger than I was at one time). I would really like to hear/read honest input on whether anyone here thinks I should actually have teddy bears at all. Is it possible that having teddy bears (even if you don't collect them) is hazardous to the mental health of some people? People like me?

I haven't forgotten the article that was linked in another post - but I have been worried if in the realm of "collecting," especially teddy bears, if I shouldn't be here. The last thing I would want to do (among other things) is through having bears of my own, give other bear collectors a bad rap or a bad reputation. As in, I don't want people to think "Oh she has teddy bears because she is troubled and needy and sounds like she doesn't have the greatest relationship with her mother. How pathetic." and then the dreaded progression from that is "maybe all bear collectors have issues." Which, from what I've seen, after looking into it much more, isn't true at all.

I have always liked teddy bears and soft stuffed animals a lot. I don't know why, but I do. And I'm not sure it has anything at all to do with anything else emotional or psychological that is going on. I just like them.

There is a part in the new Silent Hill movie that made me feel light years better about owning even one bear. It was a scene with a guy on a bus looking at and (I think) cuddling a little plush Robbie the Rabbit (which I WILL be making someday =D). That scene made my mind jump and go "Hey! He has a plush toy, so it must be ok for me to have one, too!" which was like a huge epiphany for me. It shouldn't be, but it is.

After giving this issue more and more thought, I keep coming to this one and only conclusion:

It is ok for people to collect and own as many teddy bears as they want. But it is NOT ok for ME to own ANY.

So why the hell do I keep thinking that?

This post turned out to be a lot longer than I intended, but I just wanted to bring up one more thing because it feels similar to this, even though its a different subject. I am a girl and I feel like I can't wear pink because I feel like it would... emasculate me! =O

My fascination with teddy bears and stuffed animals has always been one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of my life. Lol!
I don't know where it came from or why I like them at all, but I do know this - I'm going to learn to make teddy bears (the proper & traditional way - by sewing, not crocheting).

You'll have to watch a part of this film, because I don't own a bear like this and so have no photos - parts 5:00 and about 5:07 give brief views of it.

(This clip is supposed to be part 6/10)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VVBlhQZ … A6491D389F

Personally, I prefer the movie "Following" to this one. The scene in that first youtube clip is probably among my least favorite parts in Memento - it is really a downer of a film. Good, but a sad story.

Here is another scene where he BURNS that teddy bear! =O (I really hope that wasn't a Steiff or something)

(This clip is supposed to be part 5/10)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCUZyrgN … A6491D389F

^at about 9:04

It's so hard to get a close look at the teddy in the clip because the camera doesn't focus on it for long, the camera and/or the items are moving too quickly, and there is other junk in the way. It is also really dark in the clip of the teddy burning scene. But I am still curious and I would love to know. However, unlike the book his wife read a lot, I can't as easily find out what the bear is by doing a search online. I have to ask the experts. ;)

By the way (not that anyone is interested), but that book with no cover is called Claudius the God and his Wife Messalina by Robert Graves. I just had to look it up because I was dying of curiosity to know what it was or what it was supposed to be. I was sure it was Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, after hearing a "myth" that it might be that, but I always thought the book looked too short to be that.

Anyways, I know this is a pretty bizarre "ID this teddy bear" thread, but I would really love to know what it is. =)

For some reason, I find the props that Christopher Nolan uses in movies like this and Following to be so fascinating - it seems a lot of thought goes into selecting items that look like they have a lot of history, or a specific history unique to an individual.

This is something that is fun to do in this game - I found this video on youtube.

To get the big teddy bear, you can't have any other teddy bears in your inventory, or the big teddy will shrink to the size of the other ones. The big teddy bear is in the Zane home in Minefield.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zL_8N5ANpc

Fun stuff!

Hopefully this isn't way too trivial to post a whole thread about - I just hoped some others might get a kick out of seeing how you can collect teddy bears in a video game. (Especially for those of us who can't actually actively collect bears, for whatever reasons, but who enjoy the collecting aspect nonetheless

That looks a lot like my bear. It's a UNIPAK. But that one seems to have hair that is softer or longer or something.

(Edited to add - mine is also really "floppy" like the one in those photos.)

This is mine:

(Another edit - maybe they aren't *as* alike as I first thought. There are two seams on the nose of the one in the other photos and mine doesn't have them.)

Us Bears, your post is fascinating and knowing a Colonel took a teddy bear with him to D-Day does a lot to make one feel less "self-conscious!" :-)

dangerbears, I love that article (and also the photo in the article!)! I bookmarked it. :-)

Jenbee, I did try that, but thank you for the suggestion. I still consider myself sort of an internet-amateur though, so it never hurts to throw those ideas out there in case I hadn't tried it. Thank you again. :-)

peterbear, I agree with you completely. (And it's a long and not-so-great story, but in a way, I am not entirely upset I got rid of it - it had a lot of associations that were not exactly positive, being a gift. I usually am the only one who buys me teddy bears.) So, in many ways, it is probably good it's gone. However, since it's been ten years, a few years back, I *did* try to replace it with a couple look-alikes that don't actually look a lot like one another or like the original. But they are cute (I can be pretty choosy about teddy bears) and they are now two of my all time favorites... and, even better, there are and can be no negativity associated with these guys since I got them myself. So, I'm happy. :-)

Tami E, I love your signature! :-D

Miser, you have a teddy in the back of the group sticking up a bit that when I look at it all I can think is "It's Captain Kirk!" (that is a good thing, if you were wondering) :-)

I can't believe I forgot to mention that I was (AM) so impressed when I was looking through the photos on this site of handmade teddy bears. I cannot believe the immense amount of talent! All I can do is crochet and knit (mostly, I crochet these days) - sewing and I don't get along too well. After looking at all those photos, I feel like a kid putting up little chicken-scratch sketches, but here are my teddy bear patterns (they are all totally free, but I think that'll be obvious):

Star Trek Teddy Bear Pattern

Square-Bellied Teddy Bear

Scrap Teddy Amigurumi

Thank you everyone for the responses and niceness and kind words and welcoming and... etc. :-)

I've been sort of "in the closet" with my teddy bear obsession. I've loved stuffed animals since I was little and I guess I never outgrew it. But now my tastes run towards teddy bears specifically. I am just sooo embarrassed to admit it. But I guess there are worse things to be guilty of in life than having a... a "few" >_>...  teddy bears.

What I find so interesting (and it doesn't make me feel so bad!) is how many posts/threads I've read here about someone who lost their bear and wants to replace it. I actually created an account here to ask that very question, but I don't even have a photo of the bear in question. It wasn't even old or vintage, just about 4-6" tall and lime green with white accents. But it was at least old enough to be better made than the really flimsy falling-apart-at-the-seams-already things that are sold as "new" these days in most convenience or gift stores. And I say that because I am pretty sure that this lime green guy came from a gift shop or flower shop. I have tried for years now to replace it and for the life of me - I can't even find a sign that it ever even existed! But I don't expect any answers - I am sort of beyond expecting the possibility of a replacement now. I don't believe it's going to happen and I certainly can't count on it, so I just enjoy the teddy bears I still have. :-)