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majdle Posts: 130
Website

Make her a beautiful bear. Make her a bear she will love sooo much, she'll be wondering how come bozo left such a talented and sweet lady (chances are he told her that he broke up with YOU because you were too needy.) 

Ehm..actually I bet he said I was a friend. That´s what he said to his friends when we were together and he even said it to my two best friends... He sort of kept that little unimportant fact that we dated and had sex together for himself. And when he was with me, he called that other chick he couldn´t forget about a "friend" too. Except he talked about that "friend" way too much. Up to the point where I had to remind him that my name is NOT Barbara...

majdle Posts: 130
Website

Go ahead and finish the book! I´m buying!!!!
Ha ha...about driving - he only tried for his license at 27 and it took him 6 trials to get it!

jenny Three O'clock Bears
warwickshire uk
Posts: 4,413
Website

Having listened to women recounting tales of relationship troubles to me in the salon chair since 1973 I think I have by default learned to know the difference between a worthwhile relationship and a worthless one.

I'd say you are well out of this one and before long the new girlfriend will be too. He sounds like a nightmare...and someone who can't love anyone more than he loves himself or his mother. These kind of guys are a waste of space.

I once talked to a client whose new 'boyfriend' cancelled their 3rd date because he said he had to help his mother trim the Christmas tree. By the 3rd date  guys are usually either becoming smitten or off on their way out of the relationship ...but this girl didn't see the warning signs. Six months later was frustrated, depressed and felt useless and unnecessary because the tree trimming had become shopping every Saturday...lunch every Sunday..and every spare minute with his mother.

I am glad my son has put his wife and family first. That's how it should be, to my mind anyway. I dearly love my son..and he is not some big macho person...but I think he takes the role of husband and daddy as his most important responsibility and that I am a part of his life that he feels secure enough about that he knows I'll be there... whatever.

Don't get me started on 'mummies boys' LOL!!

All Bear All Bear by Paula
Kent
Posts: 5,162
Website
majdle wrote:

Go ahead and finish the book! I´m buying!!!!
Ha ha...about driving - he only tried for his license at 27 and it took him 6 trials to get it!

Oooooh harsh!  bear_grin 

Gotta confess, I only tried at the age of 41 ... two years ago!  Passed second time.  So passing at 27 puts me to shame!  :crackup:  :crackup:

majdle Posts: 130
Website
All Bear wrote:
majdle wrote:

Go ahead and finish the book! I´m buying!!!!
Ha ha...about driving - he only tried for his license at 27 and it took him 6 trials to get it!

Oooooh harsh!  bear_grin 

Gotta confess, I only tried at the age of 41 ... two years ago!  Passed second time.  So passing at 27 puts me to shame!  :crackup:  :crackup:

But that´s different!!!
Women are allowed to:-))

Jodi Falk Bears by Jodi
Gahanna , Ohio USA
Posts: 3,463


UMMM Good luck....But when you are done maybe all your feelings will be over also. And just think your teddy will always be there to remind the new woman that you used to be there. And a little piece of you still remains. bear_grin

majdle Posts: 130
Website

heh..I just wonder if HER boyfriend will like the bear..oh I forgot to tell you, the girl is still in another relationship and he´s trying to win her over.

Shelli SHELLI MAKES
Chico, California
Posts: 9,939
Website

Shelli Retired Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

This topic, raw as it is, is making me smile.  You ladies rock!  I know who to phone with man troubles now.

I wanted to add two things to this funny, warm-hearted thread.

First... I'm with Danni.  In the end, I'd probably choose the "right" thing to do and make a REALLY great bear, because it proves so many things.  Proves I can move on.  Proves I can be "the bigger person."  Proves I'm NOT petty or vindictive, even when being so makes perfect sense.

Second... Bravo to Paula for saying, "If the new girlfriend doesn't throw the bear at his head, I'll be very surprised!" I agree completely!  I'm beginning to think that this entire thing is designed not as much to hurt our friend Majdle, but rather is more significantly an attempt to do to this NEW girl PRECISELY what this man has apparently done to every OTHER girlfriend.  Namely, remind her that she's not "the only one" -- by having his "friend" make his girlfriend a teddy bear.   Thus keeping new girlfriend at an arm's distance... and keeping open his clear escape route.  One which he's made CERTAIN she knows about, and will keep tucked in the back of her mind, which will keep her just that little bit insecure and unsafe from day one.

No matter what else, I still think you should use this situation as an excuse to eat a lot of chocolate, though. 

bear_original

edie Bears by Edie
Southern Alberta
Posts: 2,068

Majdle, it sounds to me a bit like this guy is into "game playing" and wonder if you might not just be better off right out of it! Have you considered just unemotionally and in a business like manner just saying "NO" ! (no ego trip for him there!) You are free to choose what orders or commissions you want to take, you certainly don't need to do everything anyone asks of you, and you don't need to give a reason, an excuse, or an explanation! From the new info you've given I don't think I'd want to be involved and frankly I wouldn't want one of teddy bears involved either! This just does not sound like a good healthy situation to me - sounds like this fellow is still trying to pull all the strings!

P.S. Just saw Ellen's post ahead of mine and I totally agree with her:

I think it is a very strange thing for him to ask Magda to make a bear for his new special someone....It is not fair to either one of the ladies, this is all about him. That is what I do not like about it.

Put yourself first Majdle - don't make this bear if you really don't want to!

jenny Three O'clock Bears
warwickshire uk
Posts: 4,413
Website

I totally agree with Edie and Ellen. This guy is on some kind of big ego trip ..kind of spinning plates with relationships trying to keep all spinning at the same time so it works out best for him should he ever want to go back.

He doesn't deserve any kindnesses...and if a boyfriend of mine gave me a bear made by an ex-girlfriend I'd be horrified. To be fair to her I wouldn't make it...

Pumpkin & Pickle Bears Pumpkin & Pickle Bears
East Sussex
Posts: 2,047

You all make me laugh so much!!!  :crackup:  Especially you Renae!

i totally agree with you all - I really dislike men sometimes (sorry Jared  bear_happy ).....as much as I love Stuart, he still really pisses me off at times!

chrissibrinkley Posts: 1,836

I was thinking the same things last night after posting....new relationships are weird enough, can you imagine getting a "night protector" teddy bear from you new boyfriend's ex?  It's just too odd what this boy (he's a boy) is asking of you....and he's expecting the new girlfriend to be ok with receiving a gift created by his ex.

Personally I think asking you to make this bear is a control issue for this boy.  You are broken up, but he still wishes for you to take care of this need of his. It's all about him..forget your feelings...forget this new young lady's feelings.  It's all about him. 
Again I go back to being a "hard hearted cow (mooooo) " bear_grin  and say that I would descriptively tell him how to make this gift himself.  Manipulative little manboy  bear_angry :crackup:  :crackup:

:hug:
~Chrissi

bearlyart Canna Bear Paint
NY
Posts: 749

Personally, I wouldn't have taken the commission. However, if you are going to make the bear, here are two suggestions...

Stuff the bear with the fancy black lingerie he bought you.

Change the words on the bear's paw to "Commissioned by Mr. Teensy Weensy".

bear_grin

Swan Valley Bears Swan Valley Bears
Penn Valley, CA
Posts: 1,845

Yep, I'm with Edie.  I think it's time to close the book on this guy.  I'd tell him I couldn't make the bear for him, suggest that maybe he could buy a manufactured bear for her, then put him behind you.  Put him out of your life for good.

Pumpkin & Pickle Bears Pumpkin & Pickle Bears
East Sussex
Posts: 2,047

Stuff the bear with the fancy black lingerie he bought you.

Change the words on the bear's paw to "Commissioned by Mr. Teensy Weensy".

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  Oh, that is great!!!  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

majdle Posts: 130
Website

Stuff the bear with the fancy black lingerie he bought you.

:-))   :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:
You´re cracking me up! You guys make me laugh so much...and it´s also good to get permission to eat chocolate...yum!

Tammy Beckoning Bears
Nova Scotia
Posts: 3,739
Website

Majdle, I don't know what I'd do.   But, if you do decide to make this bear I think you will be laughing when you give it to him as you think of the funny things everyone has been saying.    I love the "Mr. Teensy Weensy " comment - brilliant !!!  a084.gif

Jennskains Posts: 2,203

Jenny, Would you chop a bear up all because of that creep?  Poor bear!!! :crackup:  :hug:

heartsez Hearts Ease Bears
Fairfax,Vermont
Posts: 660

Having just caught up on this thread ( and still laughing,,,yeah stuff the lingerie in it!) i would say YOU DONT HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING TO HIM!! it just feeds his ego..i consider myself and expert almost ( sigh) on pleasant breakups ( id hate anyone not to like me) ( idiot)  but i would not make the bear ..not give him any explanation..its outta line..a control thing for him..hes a terrible prospect as a partner,,no decent male would ever do something as cold as the things you have said he did to you ,,,or her,,,RUN and dont look back! and make that bear for someone who will love it and YOU the way you deserve to be loved!  i finally "GOT ' it after playing games in a relationship with such a guy that i excused about everything..when i picked up a very funny magazine article by a man that gave the "translations" male /female conversations and expectations,,The first one was " if he doesnt call you it isnt because hes dead or sick or lost your phone number or anything..its because he DOESN'T WANT "to call you!" i realized when  i got done laughing how much i rationalized and believed what i wanted to be true instead of what was right in front of me..!!  you are toooo nice for this loser!! deb

Shelli SHELLI MAKES
Chico, California
Posts: 9,939
Website

Shelli Retired Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

bearlyart wrote:

Change the words on the bear's paw to "Commissioned by Mr. Teensy Weensy".

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

majdle Posts: 130
Website

Yes, that´s right..poor teddy..and hours of work wasted

Kingfisher Farm Teddies Kingfisher Farm Teddies and Folk Art
Illinois
Posts: 135

Charge him quadruple your normal price and get the money up front before you make one stitch!

gotobedbears Posts: 3,177

Blimey, you must be some kinda saint  :crackup:

I would have told him to go shove his request where the sun don't shine...............cheeky bugger! He is'nt the most emotionally aware chap is he? Asking you to make a bear for his new girlfriend?

You are well rid of him my dear - he obviously has a low IQ

How about putting itching powder, arsenic or something equally repellent in the bear?  Or maybe she will choke on one of the eyes (especially if you boobly trap them):crackup:

Penny  bear_tongue

Michelle Helen Chaska, Minnesota
Posts: 2,897

Magda: Well, what can I say? There is a vast opinion about how to take all of this...

My take on this is that this ex of yours has the IQ of a pea or the sensitivity of a snake. What a beastly thing to do to you! To ask you to make his girly-friend a bear is passive-aggressive at best. And he is waving it under your nose. Oh....you poor thing....Tell him it will cost him a couple thousand dollars and when you deliver the bear, make sure it is on your way to a grand party (dressed to the nines) with a gorgeous hunk of a man on your arm....Smile and wish him the best and don't look back....

Bear Hugs to you...

Michelle

Jennskains Posts: 2,203

Did You say she is in another relationship?!  What a " Male Slut"!!!!! bear_wacko

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