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Sunnie Bears
Ridgecrest, CA
Posts: 1,167

SunnieOne May 11, 2007

Why God Made Moms...

"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children
to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used
bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones.
Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like
me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and
YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a
lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under
the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than
dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at
work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your
friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister
who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her
back.

===================================================

THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her
mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been lying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's
dirty and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the
Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you
don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my
heart.

.
=============================================

"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look
on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."

He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little
girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked
quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt
dust?"

Church was pretty much over at that point.

Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 21,912

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner SponsorMay 11, 2007

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: I LOVE all of those . . . thanks for sharing and for your happy wishes! See you a week from tomorrow.