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Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Many of you have asked about my dad and I appreciate your compassion. Please accept my apologies for not answering but I haven't been in the right frame of mind or able to sort everything out. Too many emotions in the midst of it all.

I took Dad to his 8 week check up with the surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital last Friday. He finally had a chance to thank the surgeon for saving his life. It was bittersweet. The surgeon said the stent graft he put in was doing it's job and all looked good there. But his aorta (main artery that supplies the body with blood to live) was torn all the way from the heart where it starts to his legs. Meaning the aorta wall is splitting apart and blood is seeping through. It seems there are small aneurysms forming along the rest of the tear and more surgery will have to be done very soon. This will require that he be opened up for major surgery and it's a high risk procedure anyway but given dad's state of health it's even riskier so they won't do anything until he starts showing sypmtoms of serious trouble. So we watch and wait.

In the meantime Dad has severe pain in the gallbladder area and is at the doctor's right now having an ultrasound. He also has pain in his back and chest.... where the stent was put in. The CT scan indicated nothing that would be causing this pain. The doctor said it was likely phantom pain, caused by anxiety. In other words it's all in his head and he needs to get some help for that. He's on an anti-depressant now but it hasn't started working yet. Firday he goes to a pain management specialist.

Dad is fatigued, exhausted and weak, in part from the blood pressure meds he's on and the pain meds and his mental state. He won't talk to anyone and only sleeps and watches TV all day. He's constantly in fear and discouraged with all this health stuff as he is 'disabled' from Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Chronic Fatigue as well. Has been for 6 years now.

Mom is drained... emotionally and physically but she just keeps going and going..... she's great at staying on top of appointments, follow up, queing meds as Dad never remembers and still doing all the regular housewifey stuff. Her birthday is on Wednesday and I wish so badly we could just have a nice happy, normal celebration. Dad's is in another 2 weeks and that will be even harder. At least he's still here... that in itself is something to celebrate... although at this point, he doesn't think so!

I still make a couple of trips over to see them every week... they live 2 hours from me.

All we can do really is wait.......... wait for the next life threatening thing to happen it seems. Not a way to live life. But the surgeon made it very clear that his aorta is in serious condition.

So, I'm afraid it's not good news. I keep telling myself it could be worse.

Thank you all for your prayers and support and for checking on me from time to time! I'm so blessed to be part of such a compassionate group of people!

:hug: :hug:

PS. As I was proof reading this just now my best friend called, I hadn't heard from her in 2 weeks. Her mother has just been diagnosed with cancer... wide spread, they have yet to determine the source but feel her chances are slim as it's in her esophagus and stomach, hip and lung. They are just keeping her comfortable on morphine. Like my Dad, she's only 62. Does it ever end????  bear_cry

Stellajella Wien
Posts: 1,399

Daphne, my thoughts are with you! :hug: 
I wish you stength to go through all this!

Gaby bear_flower

baggaley bears Baggaley Bears
UK ( nottinghamshire )
Posts: 2,192

Daphne, Sending you lots and lots of hugs  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:


Bonnie Mountain Dreamer Bears
wooly woods of Missouri, USA
Posts: 1,538

Sending many many hugs and prayers to you and your family Daphne.
:hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

New Avenue Crew New Avenue Crew by Debora Hoffmann
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 1,959

Oh, Daphne! I will be praying for your dad and your family.


psichick78 Flying Fur Studios
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,073

I wish I could say something that would help.

It's tough out there. I'm soo sorry. You are very stong to be hanging in so well.

:hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Jennskains Posts: 2,203

Daphine, sweetie, we are here if you need us.  I know you are worried about your parents. :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Laniebears Arctophilia
Shropshire UK
Posts: 1,429

I am so sorry bear_sad
I know just how you feel  bear_cry
Its so difficult to watch the ones we love so much suffer so...
Make sure you take care of yourself too :hug:
I will continue to pray for you all.
Big Big Hugs

Dilu Posts: 8,574

Daphne, honey;

Thank God you have him now and can shower him with all the love you have for him and tell him all the things you want to tell him before he does die.  Make the best use of this time you possibly can, because you will miss him dearly when he is no longer with you.  You have been given a superb blessing.  You are so very lucky to have this precious time.

hugs with prayers


From what I can tell, from my own armchair viewpoint, you have really great parents.

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,644

Daphne, I am so sorry about your dad's health complications.  I have wanted to ask about your dad for so long, but felt if he had improved, you would have posted about it by now.  Please remember that I am thinking about you and your family and have had all of you in my prayers for a long time.  I just hope you mum looks after herself - it is such a stressful situation for her, too.  I hope you dad can stabilize somewhat, before the next emergency.  Take care and keep us posted.

                                             Big hugs :hug:  :hug:  :hug:


Gatehouse Bears Gatehouse Gallery
Lockwood, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 227

Oh Daphne, big hugs and prayers to you and yours.  As Dilu says, try not to let this time just fly by but try to soak in as much as possible. :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

You have been given a superb blessing.  You are so very lucky to have this precious time.

From what I can tell, from my own armchair viewpoint, you have really great parents.

God is awesome indeed and I do know how lucky I am, believe me!

Yes, I have REALLY great parents! And we are SO close. Makes it all the harder to see either of them in any kind of distress!

Just to show you how cool God is.... mom called a bit ago... she'd stopped at the drug store to have dad's RX's filled and the 'check engine' light came on in the car. After asking her a few questions I told her that it had overheated. I could hear the 'I can't take anything more' feeling in her voice! I reminded her the dealership where they take their car was right across the street, the service department would be closed but someone in sales might be there to help. We hung up (thank God for cell phones!) and I prayed for her fast and hard! So she walked over, a sales guy went to check on her car to confirm what I thought. He gave her a loaner car and said "Have a safe ride home, see you tomorrow, God Bless!" Mom got in the loaner car, started it up and there was a christian radio station tuned in playing a hymn! Now how awesome is that????? And here one starts to wonder when faced with so many trying times if God really does listen. He sure does!!!

Delartful Bears Delartful Bears
Posts: 3,518

Oh Daphne  bear_sad   I am so terribly sorry   :hug:   My thoughts are always with you and your family.


Eileen Baird'sBears
Posts: 3,873

bear_sad Daphne, this has got to be so hard on all of you!!

I hope your Dad finds some peace and comfort--it's bad enough to be sick and hurting, but the anxiety must make everything so much worse!

62 is much too young (I'll be 62 myself in a few months), and I can understand why he's so stressed. Chances are he's also very worried about your Mom, and (being a man) doesn't know how to talk about the whole situation.

Does the hospital have a decent psychologist? The good ones can do wonders in these situations.


Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

Everything happenes for a reason, Daphne.  God is watching over you and your mom and dad.  Take care and God bless. :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

shantell Apple Dumpling Designs
Willamette Valley Oregon
Posts: 3,128

Huge hugs to you Daphne.  Every time I read your updates or message with you I'm reminded of my own dad.

:hug:   :hug:   :hug:   :hug:

Just Us Bears Just Us Bears
Posts: 940

When things really start getting me down Daphne, I have a little 'mental visualisation' that I use. I sit very quiet and still and close my eyes and picture God in all His warmth, strength and goodness wrapping me in His strong arms and just holding me. It's amazing the feeling of peace that I feel when I do this. Maybe you'd like to try it and even your mum and dad.
It's got to be really tough for you all right now and those trips must be exhausting you.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.


edie Bears by Edie
Southern Alberta
Posts: 2,068

Oh Daphne, my thoughts and prayers are with you - what a tough time to be going through.
Big bear hugs, Edie

TamiL Dolls N Dreams
Aurora, Colorado
Posts: 6,454

I'm so sorry about your dad, will be sending well wishes and prayers!!!
:hug:  :hug:

Cleathero Creations Cleathero Creations
Ripley, Queensland
Posts: 1,925

I have no words.  :hug:  I'm so sorry.

BrozZ BearZ BrozZ BearZ
Posts: 266

:hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

SunnieOne Sunnie Bears
Ridgecrest, CA
Posts: 1,167

Honey, I know this is such a trying time. Take good care of yourself and just love your Dad while you can. I lost my Mom last June and in trying to help my Dad deal with it, I haven't even dealt with it yet. She had a major stroke and we had 3 years with her before she passed. I so wish we could have used that 3 years to tell her how much we cared and to make her as happy as possible. But when she had the last stroke, it totally incapacitated her where she couldn't talk or do anything for herself. Even though all of us tried to let her know how much we cared, we don't know that she understood any of it. I can only pray that she did. Just love him while he is capable of understanding and thank God that you still have him. Men can be so stubborn. They don't like to accept help and don't like to think they cannot be the MAN. But he WILL appreciate it. Inside that gruff exterior they are like little boys and LOVE to know that someone cares so much. You will be in my prayers.

chris009av Real Deal Bears
Posts: 2,234

Daphne, I am sending up little prayes for you and your family.  How I feel for your Mum, it's always when you think you cant take any more that you get alittle help to pull you through, and boy did she need it.
:pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:  :pray:

doodlebears Doodlebears
Posts: 7,414

doodlebears Celebration Ambassador

Poor you Daphne! I was hoping that no news would be good news. I do hope that the doctors are able to operate on your dad soon and he feels much better soon. Your poor mum too, bless her, it must be such a worry for her as well as you Daphne. I'm sending my thoughts and prayers to you all!


Hugs Jane.  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

fredbear Fred-i-Bear
Posts: 2,243

Daphne thank you for the update, although not the best of news one would want to hear. I had to say good bye to my father  when he was 65.Today he is with me in spirit.

My thoughts go out to your father, your mother and to you and any other family members in this difficult time.


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