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Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

Okay, I'm in a very corny-joke mood.  So bring 'em on ladies and gents!

I'll start:


What can't cows dance?


















Because they have two left feet!!!! :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Judi Luxembears
Luxemburg, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,379

What can't you play cards in the jungle?







Because there are too many chee-tahs!! bear_laugh

chrissibrinkley Posts: 1,836

What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?





MEeeeeee!!!  :crackup:

Tammy Beckoning Bears
Nova Scotia
Posts: 3,739
Website

Q: What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?















A: A little bear! :crackup:

Tammy Beckoning Bears
Nova Scotia
Posts: 3,739
Website

Teddy Bears
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.

Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.

After a night of passion, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?".

She replied, "You may select any prize from the bottom self."   :crackup:  :crackup:

chrissibrinkley Posts: 1,836

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

DebbieD Posts: 3,540

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Chrissi your Geronimo joke really cracked me up  bear_grin

Stellajella Wien
Posts: 1,399

What kind of horses go out after dark?








Nightmares
:crackup:  :crackup: ...still pondering about Geronimo  bear_wacko

lemmonbears Lemmon Bears
Oregon Coast
Posts: 303

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Roxanne Bear Paws by Roxanne
Odessa, Tx
Posts: 917

This newly married groom was talking to his bestfriend. The bestfriend said boy, you sure have your wife doing everything that you ask her to do. How do you do it? He replyed "I showed her the ducks." Well, what does that mean?  Said the bestfriend. One day we were out walking and I asked her, See those duck? She said "What ducks?" So I popped her on her behind. The next day we were out walking again and I asked her, See those ducks?" She again said, What ducks? So I popped her on the behind. The third day we were out walking again and I again asked her, Do you see the ducks? She quickly replied Boy, aren't they PRETTY!  :crackup:
So when ever I get out of line with my husband he threatens to "Show me the ducks!!"   bear_grin

DebbieD Posts: 3,540

LOL...I'm afraid I'm one of those who give as good as she gets types  bear_rolleyes   That kinda training just doesn't work with me  :crackup:

Roxanne Bear Paws by Roxanne
Odessa, Tx
Posts: 917

Bear Tracks

Two blondes are walking in the forest.
One looks down and says, "Look, deer tracks".
The other blonde looks down and says, "Those aren't deer tracks, those are bear tracks".
Half an hour goes by, they were still arguing.......
When the train hit them...........
:doh:   :doh:   :crackup:

Celena Oxford
Posts: 461

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

makafelts Charlotte Des Roches Designs
Adkins, Texas
Posts: 1,543

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup: OK...let me start with Judi...the very first post in this thread...how "udderly" funny...sorry folks...just a bit of cow humor...I did grow up on a dairy farm...many years ago...lol what a fun thread this is!!!!omg...Meeeeee...ok Geranimo...and ducks & blondes and nightmare...ohhhh I am about to totally lose it here...this is just such a fun bunch of stuff....... :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup: Great way to "lighten up"!!!!Ohhh...and a little bear... :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup: and the bottom  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup: shelf :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:
Hugs,

makafelts Charlotte Des Roches Designs
Adkins, Texas
Posts: 1,543

ok...and speaking of ducks... does anyone know what happened to the duck that flew upside down????


???



???
and if you take 3 hours to get this one... I will have to call you Bruce...after one of my brother...because 3 hours after I told all my siblings the answer...he suddenly was rolling all over the lawn...laughing & laughing...because he suddenly "got it"


And the answer is" it Quacked Up"


and if it took any a while to get this one...I totally understand...lol...cause I really love "corny jokes" too

psichick78 Flying Fur Studios
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,073

Those are some baaaaaad jokes!  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Wish I had my own to add, must just be too late!

bearlysane Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,188

Tammy's TEDDY BEARS
:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Roxanne's BEAR TRACKS
:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

take the cake!

Sandi

Delartful Bears Delartful Bears
Australia
Posts: 3,518

LOL Yep, you're right Heather - some shockers there!
Thanks for the laugh though!!!

Danni

gotobedbears Posts: 3,177

A man goes into the dentist and says..........."Help me, i think i'm a moth"

The dentist says....."You've come to the wrong place i think you need the Psychiatrist over the road"

The man says............" I know but i saw your light on"

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

BootButtonBears BootButtonBears
Adelaide
Posts: 2,837
Website

Girls, these are so good.  Tammy, I just loved the one about selecting a teddy from the bottom shelf.  It just really cracked me up!  Thanks.

BrozZ BearZ BrozZ BearZ
Toowoomba
Posts: 266

They're funny cause they are really lame!  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

gotobedbears Posts: 3,177
BrozZ BearZ wrote:

They're funny cause they are really lame!  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

ha ha ha...................yeah, lame jokes...............limp limp limp  :crackup:

lw2ndstar Annapolis, Maryland
Posts: 78

Okay, why do seagulls fly over the sea?


bear_whistle


Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls.............(Bagels.  Get it?)  bear_rolleyes
Ah well, I didn't say it was good - Heard it on a "Space Ghost" rerun last night.

I LOVED the moth joke.  And cows are naturally funny.
Lynne

Marie_ Kiprie Bears
Yokohama, Japan
Posts: 2,735

A hose went to a bar, and a bartender said " why long face ?"   bear_tongue 



:crackup: Marie

gotobedbears Posts: 3,177
Marie_ wrote:

A hose went to a bar, and a bartender said " why long face ?"   bear_tongue 



:crackup: Marie

HA HA HA AHA AHAHAHAAHAHAHHA AHA  gasp  AHAHA HA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAH  gasp  AHA HA HA HA

Thanks Marie  bear_thumb  :crackup:

Penny  :hug:

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