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Flying Fur StudiosThis is soo interesting. Hearing about what we all were like as kids.
I won't go into detail about my childhood, not appropriate for here, but I would like to see more pics!!! I'll try and find one of me, I used to have dreadlocks (I'm very white!), jet back hair (natural redhead) with yellow and blue stripes. And my clothes!!! Very comical.
I'm promise when I get home from work, I'll try and find a picture of me. Maybe it'll inspire someone for a bear!
Heather
Upstate New YorkDaphne ~ Try Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk. It's easy to follow the directions. Open pint, enjoy!
Dilu ~ Thought of my dad's favorite saying with regard to following instruction/directions. Not sure of it's origin. I've heard it from several sources over the years.
It's easier to ask for forgiveness, than to ask for permission.
I know that's frequently the approach I (have to) take at work to get many things done!
Deb
Posts: 8,574Hear Hear Deb.....
I hardly ever asked permission, because i always knew, mom being a stuffy sort, the answer would always always ALWAYS be
NO
always no......
So being me I figured in for a penny in for a pound......what's the worst that can happen.
I guess I didn't count on psychological stuff to be worked through- I always figured the worst would be being grounded and damned from the family- she had a thing about shunning-(which meant I could readt to my hearts content with no interuptions)
And after all-didn't we all have STUFF to work through? its what makes us better people. :D
Dilu 
Past Time BearsWell, ladies, I was the proverbial "goody-two-shoes". I tried to be good at everything because that's what my mother expected. And I always wanted to please her if I could, 'cause I knew that there would be h . . . to pay if I did something she didn't like or approve of. Unfortunately, I managed to stumble a lot and unintentionally do some of those things that made her mad . . . so I grew up intensely afraid of her. I was an honor student in elementary, high school, and college and went to church faithfully. It took many, many, many years for me to come to the conclusion that my mom's expectations and standards were extremely destructive to my psyche. I still mostly follow the rules, although I have a liberal live and let live philosophy. What makes sense to me doesn't necessarily work for others, so I'm cool with different lifestyles and opinions. What a diverse group of bear people we are . . . and that's wonderful, for sure!!
Delartful BearsSorry to hear about your Mum Sue Ann. I am sure under it all, she loved you very much, and just wanted the best for you...
Glad to hear you are happy in your own skin now (that's how I read it anyhow)
Danni
Past Time BearsThanks much for your kind response, Danni. Yes, I agree with you that she thought she was being a good parent. She certainly didn't have good role models for parents and only did the best she could. I have made peace with that. What is the saying . . . "I'm not well yet, but I'm getting better"??? Think I will be working on getting better for the rest of my life and that's okay, too. My poor mom is in the last stages of Alzheimer's and I can't tell you how disconcerting (to say the least) it has been for me to watch her decline. We can only go forward, so that is what I will do!!
Baird'sBearsWell, Dilu . . . 
My upbringing was something like Sue Ann's (sympathies, fellow sufferer 
). In retrospect, my mother probably had a borderline personality disorder--I was scared to death of her as a child. She was very manipulative, and could turn from nice to vicious in a moment. I was very, very good for a long time, and followed all of her rules, you better believe it! I spent much of my older childhood and teen years looking for other adult mentors, and had some wonderful teachers who made a big, big difference.
However. Once I was out of the maternal grasp, I started making up for lost time! I had such fun during my first college semester at Wellesley that I ended up on academic probation--not good, since I was on full scholarship. Second year, I was kicked out of high tea for showing up with a cigar between my teeth--couldn't resist the dare. Third year, I was on dorm detention with two friends, after we raided the cafeteria looking for some biscuits to go with our CheeseWiz. We would have got away with it, but we went through the wrong door, and ended up locked outside in our underwear--no way in but through the front door, and so we were busted. My German prof. called me 'my little Antigone'. She reduced everyone in the class to tears at least once, but not me. Fourth year, I decided to buckle down and graduate. After that, I think the purely rebellious streak was out of my system.
Rules. Hmm. I've had a lot of experience both in following and in breaking them. My three score and one years worth of wisdom? It depends. Rules need to be questioned, even by children. If they make sense for reasons of safety or social peace or consideration of others, they need to understand why we need them. But to be young in a world of incomprehensible and inconsiderate rules is a form of torture. As for lifestyle choices, I think (to paraphrase Jesus) that man is corrupted not by what goes into his mouth, but what comes out of it.
I never managed to come to terms with my mother before she died, which I regret; but once I had children, and once she'd turned on them once or twice, I kept in touch but saw her as little as possible.
By now I like to do things my way, which means a lot of trial and error, sometimes with wonderful results, sometimes not. If it has to do with electrical systems or plumbing or computers or woodworking tools, I always read the instructions!
Sorry to be so long winded! 
Eileen
Matilda Huggington-beareOK couldnt let this past me by.
As a child it was an absolute must to use reverse psychology on me.
Nothing has really changed.I can remember one time my parents forbade me from doing something. I was very cross with them for that because, I didnt wish to do it anyway, BUT now I had no choice I just had to do it. BECAUSE it was forbiden. (it has been the bain of my life, not being able to do as I'm told)
When it comes to bears, I have to put my own spin on other peoples patterns because the bear already exists, so where's the point in creating another one.(I know I know, it doesnt make sense)
My mind does'nt seem to work anyother way. :D:mad:matilda
