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Cleathero CreationsMy 9yo daughter came home last week thrilled to bits.
She had received a letter from the school saying she had been accepted into the school band. She had applied for violin last year but missed out so she applied for clarinet.
She was bubbling over and telling everyone all about it and how well she had done during the try out doing all that was requested from her.
Anyway she came home Tuesday and said she had a letter for me. She handed it over and she was trying so hard to be brave and not cry, she had received a second letter telling her that she wasn't in the band.
Needless to say I hit the roof. Bad enough to be told straight off that you didn't make it let alone be told yes you had then strip it from her.
I went into the school yesterday but the woman I needed to speak to wasn't there, the teacher I did speak to said she would speak to the other Thursday and phone me Friday so I made plans to go to the school Thursday. I'm not that silly too easy to fob me off over the phone, not as easy when someone is standing there.
This morning I go to the school and request to see the teacher and sit and wait and wait and wait. Have I ever told you although impetuous most of the time I can have the patience of a stone? 
They finally rock up and tell me the acceptance letter was a an error and Tiffany hadn't gotten in the band because she was too small. I stood up and said "What?" They took a step back and said they THOUGHT she MAY have problems playing the clarinet because her hands are small and because of this she was passed over. She had done what they said to do in the tryout, her grades were good enough and she had done well in music this year.
They went onto say that they had limited numbers of clainets to let the students use and so she had been culled.
I latched onto that point and said but in the booklet I received it said that students can hire their own clarinet if the school didn't have enough. So if we hire our own clarinet she can be in the band.
They reluctantly said yes.
Tiffany was discriminated against, she is small and may have trouble with it but let her make the decision and find out, she maybe fine and be able to do it but they just wrote her off as too small no OTHER excuse was given.
Now it makes me wonder about last year did she miss out because she was considered too small? Now I just have to see how we go next year. The teacher may try and push her out with attitude but they had better watch out if they do that too it may be just the thing the papers would love to hear about.
What am I going to do all my girls are small and Lauren well Lauren may as well just give up now!
LuxembearsBrownen,
It sounds like a bunch of lame excuses to me 
. I can certainly understand how you must feel. How unfair. Your daughter is lucky to have a mom that will stand up and fight for her rights. Way to go mom! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
I do hope your daughter will never give up....and show them all just how well she can play. It will make it allthe more triumphant. Hang in there :hug:
Wild Thyme OriginalsOh Browen... that's just hideously awful!!!!! I think you handled that just perfectly! Sheesh... when you're a kid you should be encouraged to give everything you are interested in a good go for it! To be shot down becuase someone thinks your hands are too small, when she's already proven she CAN do it.... just terrible. You tell your little one that she should never ever think that just because she's petite, she can't DO something. :hug: My daughter is a tiny little thing too. 
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Kim Basta
Sunnie BearsBronwen, I understand completely. The same thing happened with my son in high school. My middle son is small. BUT he was the star player on his Community football team. He played almost every position. Same thing with baseball. he just is exceptionally gifted athletically. Yet when he started high school, he tried out for the football team. Actually he didn't really have to try out because since he played on the community team (and led the team to a regional championship)the coaches placed him at the top of the list for the high school team. I couldn't believe it when he came home and told me that for over 2 weeks he sat on the bench and wasn't even allowed to work out with the team. Why? Because the high school coach thought he was too small and would not even give him a chance. My son was so upset he totally stopped playing any sports. This coach had no clue what he lost. Good for you for standing up for her. I tried to do that for my son, but you know how teenage boys are.. They would be humiliated for thier MOM to fight thier battles.
Sonya
Ruby Mountain BearsYeah for Bronwen!! You Go tell em WHat For!!@! Your Good MOM!!! If she can't cut it then cut her from the band but she deserves the chance!!!
Dolls N DreamsThat is terrible, good for you mom!!! I feel sorry for your daughter I know how she feels, I was so hurt in 5th & 6th grade when I didnt make cheerleader I tried so hard and thought I was just as good as those that did make it but I was alittle overweight at the time and I knew that was why they didnt want me. I still remember the hurt I felt even to this day. Funny how some things never go away. Tell your sweetie to hang in there!
Matilda Huggington-beareYOU GO BRONWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU GO GET 'IM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are all right behind you and your daughter. 
When she is famous and playing on the world stage. Dont forget to rub this teachers face in it!!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>GO BRONWEN GO<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<,,
PS: I thought a teachers job is to TEACH not DISCRIMINATE
Charlotte Des Roches DesignsBronwen,
Having always been..small...I totally empathize!!! My dad used to say...you may be small, but you are wound tight...and people better watch out!!! I am sorry that this stuff is going on...and just one more reason to consider home schooling for my future grandkids...when I remember what I went thru & our son went thru in the public fool system...oops I guess that was suppose to be school...grrrrrrr...discrimination is discrimation...and it just isn't right!!!Especially when it hurts our children!!! Unfortunately...it seems that a teachers job is to make money...and nothing to do with caring any longer in my opinion...I know there are acceptions...and I know those good intending teachers end up not being able to stay in the teaching profession...because they can't put up with the way they are told to "teach"... our daughter in law...who was really a good teacher..could not take the mandated rules...and she had to go on to other things...sad state we have come to in my opinion...!!!
Sorry...this really makes me mad when I hear stories like this...Please know that your children are the best & I totally understand the pain you feel when this kind of thing happens..been there as a child & as a parent!!! It just is not right!!!Major hugs to you & Tiffany & Lauren...Remember...we are worth it, no matter how small those idiots may think we are...we shall overcome!!!
Hugs &
Posts: 1,836This is absolutely one of the most hideous things a school can do to a child.
It's abusive in my opinion. At her age she should be welcomed with open arms to any creative venue the school allows. Educators telling children that they can not do something or that something is beyond them, that they should give up....well it's mentally abusive. There is no safety concern as in some sports...this is a child wanting and dreaming to be creative.
I'm a petite girl with smaller hands and I started playing the alto saxophone in grade school. I played all through high school, even being the only girl in a jazz ensemble. I played oboe as well. I was lucky enough to have a fantastic music teacher in the 8th grade who saw beyond the "small girl" concept. I'm not saying I was fantastic at any of the instruments I played...but I did just as well as any other kid in the band. I played piano from age 6 or 7 as well.
Have these horrid teachers seen 4 year old children master the piano, violin, guitar, drums, etc?? How dare they pigeon hole your daughter like that because she's small. There are world famous musicians who have had challenges far greater than size.
This may make your daughter feel better.... when my one sister was in kindergarten she and the other kids took weekly tests on colors, letters, etc. During yellow week my sister colored in the sun yellow, but shaded the thinnest edges of the sun with subtle oranges and reds..blending them into a sun seen in paintings. Her shrew of a teacher pulled my sister up to her desk and yelled (yes yelled) "WHAT IS THIS???!!" as she put a big red X and a zero grade over my sisters sun. Rather than see that this little girl was artistic and gifted in an artistic area....rather than supporting that, nurturing that, or welcoming that..this shrew of a woman publicly ridiculed a 6 year old little girl. Flash forward to today and my sister is now an Art Teacher! My sister didn't allow that horrid woman to scar her talents or her desires and neither did my mom...who deeply wanted to take that woman aside with that red "X" marker...we still talk about it 
Your daughter just may be a great music teacher some day...or a concert pianist OR maybe she'll find she doesn't like band at all. But she should be given the opportunity to try. It's not a Symphony Orchestra for God's sake, are they planning to play for the Queen this coming year?? There is no suitable excuse for this, none at all.
You just keep doing exactly what you're doing!!!
:hug:
~Chrissi
Cleathero CreationsThankyou. I thought maybe I had ovr reacted but I didn't think so. I will show Tiffany all the words of support when she is home from school
THankyou all.
Posts: 8,574So what if she is small. YOYO MA isn't all that big either and he is one of the worlds greatest celloists.....so what?
Lets face it this band is not going to be winning world awards. That's not the point. The point is to get them to learn to create together by making music, to bond and have fun learning about the music and to savor the excitement of sitting in the middle of a band during a concert and have the thought hit you that:
"OMG it is all coming together and what to you know! We do sound good!"
It is an absolutely fantastic feeling and I am glad you fought for your daughter's right to experience it.
Beethoven was a short little guy!..with a little research we could find many others. Who cares?
The joy of music is in the size of the heart and not the size of the body and if your little one is going to learn to love music now is the time.
So Good on you MOM....you are the TOPS, and I hope your daughter has so much fun that every time they see her bright and shiny face they are ashamed of themselves for their really cruel and silly thoughts!
What small minded and small hearted women
The best revenge is succsess!
Gollyhugs
dilu[/b]
I can remember being told by a high school guidance counsellor that I might as well forget about becoming a registered nurse as my hands were too small!!! Well I most certainly proved him wrong and went on to have a very successful nursing career which spanned 36 years. You go girl Bronwen and good on you for fighting the injustice done to your daughter.
Hugs
Gail :clap: :clap: :clap:
Posts: 8,574and small hands are quite appreciated in OB when you are checking for dilation!Ha!
glad you didn't let the silly guidance councelor steer you away!
golly hugs
Posts: 3,540I'm the exact same ~ tiny hands...always have been. And other than not being able to span an octave, I've been thrilled with what my tiny hands have delivered. I've been able to play flute, trumpet and flugelhorn in band. I've gone on to paint numerous artworks, and I've lost track of the teddys I've sculpted....
As for the octave? I had a Russian Special Forces friend tell me he could help me span the octave on a piano, just like Mozart......let's say I wasn't that motivated 
BUT your daughter shows passion....a burning desire to play, and I think she deserves the chance!!! She's all ready given them what they want. No, I feel you did the right thing as a parent, and certainly hope you can continue to back her up in her musical persuits. :clap: Well done Bronwen :clap: !! You are a Super Mommy to back her up :hug:
Strange BearsGo get em Bronwen......last school holidays my 6 year old decided she wanted to learn the flute....so older cousin handed over his old flute to me. Lara is tiny and she used the head to learn to blow and finally got that down pat.......then she wanted the whole thing put together and to play it properly. I showed her how it went together but I just couldn't see her holding it and letting the mouth piece to her mouth....I left the room as she struggled as I felt frustrated.
I short while later I heard some music and actually assumed that she had taken the head off again....walked back into the room and she was playing it ....sort of....properly......she haas struggled and won......she had found a way to hold it properly and get it in position.....and she is 6. Give them the credit and let them try and they will WIN.
GRRRRRRR!!!! This kind of thing infuriates me and you have my sympathies. Continue to do battle I say! My own daughter who is highly qualified, very intelligent and absolutely gorgeous, has been discriminated against time and again and it makes my blood boil. In her case it is usually to do with her appearance (she has total alopecia) because for example, employers can't cope with someone who looks different. Ultimately it has made her a stronger person, but that comes at a price.
Good luck to your daughter Bronwen, start using the word 'discrimination' to the school and if that isn't successful, tackle the Board of Governors. Failing that, write to your Local Education Authority and complain, complain, complain.
Well done for fighting!! Its seems ridiculous that schools want to stop children being musical!!
When I was at school, I wanted to learn to play the violin. They could only take four people, but five of us wanted to learn. They told me I wouldn't be allowed to learn as I was the oldest!!! I was only 9 for goodness sake!! Anyway, my parents fought for me and we won! They decided to teach all five of us, and I was the only one to carry on when we went to senior school when we were 11! The other four gave up! I played the violin all through school until I was 18 when I won an award for contributions to music at the school!! It just seems daft now that I almost didn't get to learn at all. When I think about what I would have missed out on as I went through the school!
Really encourage your daughter to enjoy music. It can lead to so many great and fun opportunities as she progresses through school.
By the way, you can actually buy/hire tiny little violins suitable for young or petite children, so they must also have tiny versions of other instruments available.
Cleathero CreationsThanks for all the lovely encouragement. Tiffany was over the moon and says hi as welll and thanks. She says I am to post a photo of her when she is playing!!
Good luck Tiffany - thank goodness your Mum went along to the school to sort out the mean teachers.
Thinking about on another case - Robbie Williams manager said - when he went solo that he would never
amout to anything and look at him now.
Also the Corrs ran up against the same situation.
We would love to see a photo of Tiffany playing.
Warmest hugs
Carolyn
:hug: 
:hug:
Bears by JodiOh MY !!! If she can do it I feel she should be allowed, no matter what size she is. I am glad you stood up for her !! A good loving MOM you are !! Hang in there .
Posts: 3,177What a bunch of idiots Tiffany 
size should make no difference - if your daughter can play well enough that should be enough.
Teachers can be an odd bunch (not all of them, some are brilliant) but they do tend to get cliquey with some kids and their parents and their decisions are'nt always made on a fair basis.
I hope you get everything sorted out and that your daughter is'nt disheartened with all this nonsense - big hugs to her :hug:
Penny
Wild Thyme OriginalsYou know... as I reflect back, and hear the stories here... I think that many of us have had a teacher, or or someone in a similar position of authority and influence that made an attempt to just wreak havok on the creative spirit. I know I had a few. Chrissi's story about her sister's art teacher totally reminds me of that Harry Capin song.... my parents were BIG Chapin fans so this is like one of the anthems of my own childhood!
"Little boy on the first day of school
Got some crayons and started to draw
He drew colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
And the teacher said.. "What you doin' young man?"
"I'm paintin' flowers" he said
"It's not the time for art, young man
And anyway flowers are green and red...
There's a time for everything young man
And a way it should be done
You've got to show concern for everyone else
For you're not the only one
And she said...
Flowers are red young man and
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen
But the little boy said...
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in a flower and I see every one
The teacher said.. You're sassy
There's ways that things should be
And you'll paint flowers the way they are
So repeat after me.....
And she said...
Flowers are red young man and
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen
But the little boy said...
There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in a flower and I see every one
The teacher put him in a corner
She said.. It's for your own good..
And you won't come out 'til you get it right
And are responding like you should
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his head
And that little boy went up to the teacher
And this is what he said.. and he said
Flowers are red, green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen
Time went by like it always does
And they moved to another town
And the little boy went to another school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin'
She said...Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in a flower
So let's use every one
But that little boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teacher asked him why
This is what he said.. and he said
Flowers are red, and green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen. "
Hopefully we all get at least a few teachers that nurture the creative spirit, and encourage the notion that we should try new things, even if they might be difficult!
Kim Basta
Posts: 3,540Thanks for all the lovely encouragement. Tiffany was over the moon and says hi as welll and thanks. She says I am to post a photo of her when she is playing!!
:clap: :clap: Way to go Tiffany!!! :clap: :clap: You just keep on fighting to play your music
I'm with Penny and am tossing aside politeness and decorum and instead going with her perfectly phrased, "What a bunch of idiots."
Although I've been home with my kids for 13 years, I earned a Master's degree in Education in 1993 -- and an elementary teaching credential. I was fortunate to attend a really forward-thinking program at UCLA where the concepts of whole teaching, individualized instruction, and open classrooms were considered equally desirable choices when compared to more "traditional" classroom structure -- depending on child and circumstance.
Every student in my teacher training program was taught to look for those rare and beautiful "teachable moments" when kids are excited and engaged and feeling passionate about a subject area -- like Tiffany was, about her music. If you let them, in those moments of excitement and passion, kids will almost teach themselves. Their curiosity drives their learning and they generally pick things up with lightning speed, joyously! Giving them opportunities to learn... not limiting them!... is how they best grow. And conversely, squelching those most teachable moments is perhaps the greatest loss of potential possible, in the classroom.
All of the philosophical rambling, above, which certainly applies here, is entirely independent of the purely nonsensical, discriminatory nature of Tiffany's music teacher's comments themselves. Telling your daughter that she can't -- I really loathe that word -- play an instrument because she is "too small", would be like telling a non-citizen livign in white America that they can't take an English class because their DNA is "too foreign." Total nonsense. And pure discrimination.
As a (non-practicing) teacher myself, I shudder on behalf of teachers everywhere over the circumstances that surround Tiffany's attempt to join the band. Shame on that music teacher -- especially for not discussing, before acting, the very viable option of renting an instrument for Tiffany... and even more, especially for retracting an acceptance letter so insensitively, and without explanation.
Everyone should be so lucky as to have a mom like you, Bronwen.
Canna Bear PaintBronwen, good for you! This reminded me of a news story I read recently, so I dug it out to post a link. It is about a blind and disabled student who is a brilliant musician and plays in the marching band, with him playing and his dad pushing his wheelchair in the formations. With the support of his parents AND teachers, he has been able to prove what a superstar he is.
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=2643340&page=1
Tiffany, I hope you love being in your band!
Kelly
