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Aleta - The Silly Bear The Silly Bear
Portland, Oregon
Posts: 3,119
Website

Wreathweb.jpgWhile going through a period of worry recently, I painted my family room RED and spent two days working on a 36 inch ornament wreath.  Usually I just clean house like a mad woman.  This was over the top....even for me.

What do you do to get through a period of worry?

Warmest holiday hugs,   :hug:
Aleta

Pumpkin & Pickle Bears Pumpkin & Pickle Bears
East Sussex
Posts: 2,047

Aleta, that wreath is BEAUTIFUL!! It looks like lots of sweeties from a distance!

To get through times of stress (which lets face it, can be most days when you have 2 young children at home  :crackup: !!) I make bears and eat chocolate!!  bear_whistle

bearsbybeesley bears by beesley TM
Tofield Alberta Canada
Posts: 6,818

Oh Aleta! What a gorgeous picture. The bear the wreath and the gorgeous colors! Beautiful! I hope your period of worry ends soon my Dear! We have your back Hon!

Hugs Louise

Laura Lynn Teddy Bear Academy
Nicholasville, KY
Posts: 3,653
Website

Laura Lynn Banner Sponsor

Awww I'm so sorry!   :hug:   Me... I sleep like the dead... and sleep and sleep....

LOVE your wreath!  And the color on the wall looks great bear_original

TamiL Dolls N Dreams
Aurora, Colorado
Posts: 6,454

That wreath is amazing!!! I love that red, I painted my powder room that color last year and it is my favorite room now! I'm like you I clean house and organize things, my closet, the studio.
That always seems to help me the most. Sorry for you worries!  :hug:

Kingfisher Farm Teddies Kingfisher Farm Teddies and Folk Art
Illinois
Posts: 135

WOW!! Soooo pretty. Aleta, I eat. EVERYTHING. Chocolate, mashed potatoes, pizza..............Pam

KJ Lyons KJ Lyons Design
Seattle, WA
Posts: 1,413
Website

Hmmm,
Is it just worry or is your unconscious preparing you for a big change? I have found that whenever I feel really uneasy and worried it's right before I'm about to do a major life change.
Karen
P.S. THe bigger the anxiety, usually, the better the results  bear_thumb

Shelli SHELLI MAKES
Chico, California
Posts: 9,939
Website

Shelli Retired Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

I'm with Pam.  Food is a healing tonic for the soul.  Albeit not for the rear end... :)

Whatever the motivation, your red room and wreath are lovely, Aleta.

Hope you're significantly less worried after such an enormous creative spurt!

Laurie Laurie Lou Bears
Norfolk
Posts: 3,246

Making bears can help to take your mind off things and spending money- that really helps bear_whistle
Laurie :hug:

WildThyme Wild Thyme Originals
Hudson, Ohio
Posts: 3,115

Your arrangement looks just like a page from a magazine Aleta!!!!!   bear_shocked

You wanna come worry a bit at my house?  I have a bunch of rooms that are desperately in need of redecorating!   :hug:

I do hope the worries are of a minor variety and that they are resolved soon.  bear_wub

Me.... if they are worries that will benifit from thought, I either scrub the kitchen floor or I bake!
If they are worries that I would prefer NOT to think about... I DANCE.   :dance:
If they are REALLY big worries.... I just pray!   :pray:

Kim Basta

cherylbruinwerks Bruinwerks
Edmonton
Posts: 784

My husband wishes that I would 'clean like a mad woman' when I'm worried!  bear_whistle
I bake or I do non bear related crafting. I find if I make bears, they look like I'm feeling - anxious and worried.
I believe in prayer and I try very hard to pray and leave it there but that's not always easy, I know.

Your wreath and red room are fab!.


I hope everything is alright with you Aleta. Sending you a big  :hug:  :hug:

Cleathero Creations Cleathero Creations
Ripley, Queensland
Posts: 1,925

I tend to withdraw and want to sleep.
If I get really really stressed I get appendicitis even though my appendix are gone.

I hope you get over your worries soon.

Michelle Helen Chaska, Minnesota
Posts: 2,897

Oh that wreath is amazing Aleta...Just beautiful...

What I do when stressed? I like some of the others, I eat and cook. I also veg-out in front of the TV and not move unless I need a Diet Pepsi....

Michelle

sarahjane Brisbane
Posts: 2,951

I tend to eat and if I could I would sleep....(this has not been good for my waistline this year I can tell you!!!! :crackup: )

Aleta I hope your worries all turn out to be unfounded..... :hug:

articicle Posts: 119

I do worry sometimes but I also have faith in the Lord.  I spend time in prayer.  I try to release it to God after I have done my part.  God made everything, hes wize enough to be in charge and know whats going on. 

I admit sometimes I really struggle, but I trust in God... pray. 


articicle

Aleta - The Silly Bear The Silly Bear
Portland, Oregon
Posts: 3,119
Website

I've had to give the worries over to a higher power....and with my control issues.....well, it is getting easier day by day.  I'll have to admit that a shudder went down my spine when I read what Karen wrote.  It went right along with what my instincts are telling me.

The doctor is taking a wait and see approach with my 25 year old son.  He has a lump in one of his glands in the lower neck area.  It swelled up and was painful for a time and then receeded somewhat.  It's still there though, even four weeks after his initial doctor visit.  He isn't experiencing any other symptoms of Lymphoma so the surgeon "thinks" it may be a rogue gland.  Is he just guessing?!!

Now here's the really scary stuff:  All the first born children on my husband's mother's side have passed away at young ages.  I've just recently learned that my husbands nephew is fighting Lymphoma right now and has been for several months.  He's a first born in the same generation as my son....just a year older.  The first doctor he went to told him he just had a swollen gland.  He never experienced any other symptoms other than the lump.
bear_sad  bear_sad 

My motherly instincts are telling me to seek a second opinion.  My son, on the other hand is going with the recommendation of the surgeon and taking a wait and see approach.  Wait and see?!!
bear_angry  bear_angry   

I've never had a problem letting go of my children and have actually delighted in the fact they are both so independant.  This is different.  I wish I could just drag my son by the ear to see another doctor.  He's 6'2" though and as stubborn as his father.  I've tried every tactic I can think of to get him to seek a second opinion.  Guilt, fear.....   He's aware of what's going on with Bill's nephen.  Even his grandma (my mother) tried her guilt on him this past week to no avail.
bear_ermm  bear_ermm

Am I totally over the edge with this whole first born/death thing?  When I type about it, it does sound rather "out there" doesn't it?  I'd think it was "out there" too.....if it weren't true.

Anyway, this is the reason I've been away from TT, been more scatter brained that usual, painted my familyroom red, made that wreath and have now become even more obsessive compulsive about creative projects.  You girls would really think I was looney toons if you knew about all the projects.  I'm really not looney toons.  I'm just a mom who loves her son.

Warmest bear hugs,  :hug:
Aleta

Pumpkin & Pickle Bears Pumpkin & Pickle Bears
East Sussex
Posts: 2,047

Aleta darling, you have every right to be concerned - he is your baby and always will be!  bear_original

I hope he listens to you and gets a second opinion - to ease your mind if nothing else.

Take care of yourself. We are always here if you need to chat!  :hug:

Tammy Beckoning Bears
Nova Scotia
Posts: 3,739
Website

Oh Aleta, my heart goes out to you.  I would be hysterical with worry I know.   I don't think you are "out there" with your fears.  You'e just a caring mom who loves her son.  As you said, you have given it over to a higher power, but being human we always want to take it back.  I sincerely pray that everything is o.k. with your son.  Hugs to you as you struggle with his choice to wait and see.  :hug:

Kingfisher Farm Teddies Kingfisher Farm Teddies and Folk Art
Illinois
Posts: 135

Oh Aleta, Hugs and prayers!!! I am so sorry this is the reason for your flurry of activity. It is very pretty though.........Pam

cherylbruinwerks Bruinwerks
Edmonton
Posts: 784

Oh Aleta, I'm terribly sorry for all your troubles. You're a Mom...worry about our kids is what we do- It's in our DNA. Do what you have to do to cope. It sounds like you are doing constructive things not destructive ones and that is so important. I will say a prayer for your family... that wisdom will prevail. 

Cheryl :hug:  :hug:

Tami E Tami Eveslage Original Teddy Bears
Milford Ohio
Posts: 2,367

Aleta, I went through something similar last year at this time with my six year old. They thought he might have lymphoma because of a skin growth and fevers he was having. All the testing was scary for him and while I kept it together when I was around Brendan and other people, I recall now a moment alone, spent just staring out at my back yard filling with snow, listening to a Christmas CD, and crying. When we offer our worries to God it is hard to let them go, and perfectly normal to worry about our children. God made mothers that way, didn't he?
I'll be praying your son decides to get a second opinion and that all will turn out well, like it did with Brendan.

Carolyn Green Draffin Bears
Auckland New Zealand
Posts: 5,354
Website

Dear Aleta bear_flower

I am so sorry to hear about your Son and I hope that he goes for a second opinion and that everything will prove to be fine.
My hugs, love and prayers are with you at this time.

Your red room and wreath are very pretty.

Warmest hugs
Carolyn



.
:hug:  bear_flower  :hug:

chris009av Real Deal Bears
Posts: 2,234

awww Aleta, I would be draging him by the ear too if possible.
I do hope that everything turns out for you, but I know how it is about worrying at the moment.

What I am doing is reading mostly TT chat  bear_grin
I can't concentrate on bear making, but I did check out a scrapbooking site that I think Shelli sugested in a post.
So sometimes I doodle in PhotoShop, then I do about 10mins of sewing a bear (that's as far as I can concentrate), and then sometimes I do research on anything and everything  bear_grin

Just think of TT as each person holding hands with another all around the world with prayers and thoughts for you and your son, cause that is what TT is all about.


My prayers are with you  :pray:

Shelli SHELLI MAKES
Chico, California
Posts: 9,939
Website

Shelli Retired Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

Whatever the circumstance, I think it's human nature that people don't want to believe they're in trouble; denying problems, whatever the sort, is usually easier than confronting them.   Add that to the youth and vigor of your son -- he probably still carries some of that "invincible" adolescent belief system with him into his adult life -- and you end up with an intelligent and educated someone who nonetheless doesn't have your life experience, Aleta, and who hasn't really internalized yet that bad things do sometimes happen, even to young, vigorous people in denial -- like he is! bear_original  So of course he's not rushing to a second opinion.  He probably feels very certain that there's nothing wrong at all.  And statistics would very much suggest the same conclusion, by the way, Aleta; keep that in mind as you channel your anxiety into redecorating! 

I know first hand that you can't force someone to do what they won't do when it comes to personal care.  My half-sister Paulette (I've written about her here before when she was "giving up" some months ago) was just today given six month to a year to live, because her ovarian cancer -- the cancer she refuses to retreat with chemo and surgery -- is spreading and growing.  No one has been able to convince her that it's worth the fight to stay alive for her sons, if not herself.  No condolences about Paulette wanted by the way; this is Aleta's thread.   I'm just mentioning this as an extreme example of how oddly stubborn people can be about their health even when it makes no sense whatsoever to take the, "I'm fine/Leave me alone!" stance.

Still, there's nothing wrong with asking for reasonable reassurances from a loved one, and it's likely you'll get at least partial satisfaction in doing so.  Is there a way that you can ask your son for a more specific timeline? In other words... rather than waiting for EVER on this unknown problem, can you suggest to him that, if he's still symptomatic in any way, he seek a second opinion AFTER JANUARY 1st?  Or BY FEBRUARY 1st?  And so on.

I've found that with the more stubborn, health-care-phobic members of my family, that's the best course of action.  It doesn't push them to confront hard issues too quickly; it places the "blame" for that second opinion visit on someone other than themselves, which seems to somehow make it easier; and it gives you something to set your focus on, so that you can find an end for yourself to the gnawing uncertainty and worry that's so consuming.

I don't remotely think you're "out there" on this stuff, Aleta, and find that with these kinds of things I'm somewhat -- I guess superstitious is the word, but it's a kind of rational superstition -- myself.  I'd be worried too, just like you; just like a lot of people here have said they'd be.  I think your worry shows what a caring mother you are; you love your son, so you're not willing to wait things out, but instead are wrapped around finding a real answer, rather than a non-answer, to this puzzle.

Take good care, friend; I'll be thinking of you and yours thru it all, and wishing for quick and positive outcomes!

Dilu Posts: 8,574

Aleta,

My love, I am sending prayers and best wishes your way-  you already do what I would tell you ....but I shall add you  and your son and family to my prayers....


love
di

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