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Brandon BearsDiary of a Snow Shoveler...
December 8: 6:00 pm . It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalk. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalk and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell! The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God, I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the dang stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Ssnowplow came by twice! Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 30 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on his truck, for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's damn well lying.
December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his you know what! I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been. Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25; Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze!
December 28: Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WIFE is driving me crazy!!!
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me, but I don't like being tied to the bed.
MerBear Originals:clap: It's amazing that someone from Texas would understand our situations so well.
Marion
Hahahhaha....yep..... you know that was written by a Canuck! Yesterday it was -21C here....I was shoveling the new snow after it has been snowing off and on for 3 days... we had 10 inches...I know because I measured...
Today it is up to +5C already....good thing I did shovel..we could have flooding by luncheime...but, we know this and have to be prepared for flooding by making sure the 10 inches is cleared from any low lying areas... ..and yes, the part about it being the law to shovel?....it is all true; it is a city bylaw. It costs $150 if you don't have it shoveled within 48 hours and the city decides to do drive by and do it for you. My neighbour told me... and he isn't lying.... he had to pay it for not bothering to shovel his snow...
Look, I made you all a snow angel !! I don't remember getting so much snow in my boots or down my pants doing them when we were kids.... Hope the neighbours didn't see lying on the lawn flapping my arms and legs and wondering if I was in trouble... because if they did they don't care about me at all...nobody even stopped to see if I needed help.
Chaska, MinnesotaMy goodness, you need a drink after all that....And chocolate too....
fribbles, ltd.*LOL* LOVE that! It's being passed around in Montana as being written by a Californian who moved to Montana..unfortunately, the snow USED to scare people off like that, but we've been having mild winters lately...apparently New York is getting it all!!
Amelia
Back Road BearsThat's so funny!
I become a widow to the snow when ever we get it! Hubs is out there all darn DAY shoveling... even if it's 3 inches. I'm sort of thankful at the moment because he isn't working and togetherness is sometimes over-rated! But we got 20 inches and he's cleared the drive with the snowblower 4 times. The wind picked up and blew it all back into drifts on the driveway. I just laughed! I'd rather stay in by the fire, relax, be warm and wait til the storm is good and through and the sun comes out before I tackle the job of snow clearing. "Do it once, do it right and be done with it!" I seem to be the only one in this house with that theory though. ***sigh***
Posts: 3,540
Hahaha!! sorry, just picturing your neighbors ignoring you making snow angels...well, let's hope they did 
You were just having fun afterall. And I have to say, it MUST be cold, because you hardly mad an ident at all making that snow angel 
Trust me, I've made far deeper imprints as a kid.
As for the original post ~ :crackup: I loved it the first time I read it, and I love it still :crackup: Too wierd there's laws and fines about moving snow....I really do look for the 'breathing law' and fines to be imposed next. 
Storytime BearsVeronica I would love to have seen a picture of you while making the snow angel, you're hilarious!!!!
And that Diary was soooooooo funny I sent it to my husband , he loved it , but I am afraid it gave him ideas.
Hugs
Jodi
