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The Silly Bear
Portland, Oregon
Posts: 3,119
Website

Aleta - The Silly Bear Apr 11, 2007

My Mom sent this little tidbit to me today. I thought some of you may enjoy it. I particularly like the note highlighted in blue to non-pet owners. I think I may post it on my door and circle #2. bear_laugh

PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Warmest bear hugs, :hug:
Aleta

JustMerde
Bells & Sherman, Texas
Posts: 345
Website

Annnik Apr 11, 2007

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

I must print this out!!

Wien
Posts: 1,399

Stellajella Apr 11, 2007

Aleta, WONDERFUL!! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

I like this best:

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

I´ll read it to my dogs later on ;)

THANX for posting it! :hug:

Gaby bear_flower

Waggle Bears
So Cal Desert
Posts: 4,089

Marlys Apr 11, 2007

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: cute and true!

puca bears
Posts: 1,934

puca bears Apr 11, 2007

Brilliant...now if only we could get the little darlings to read (actually, they probably can, but are too sensible to let on!). There would have to be one more rule for our dog - she is BIG and weighs the same as me....and she thoroughly disapproves of sun-bathing - if I ever get the opportunity to stretch out on the sun lounger, she promptly arranges herself on top of me!!!
huggies
Maria

Dolls N Dreams
Aurora, Colorado
Posts: 6,454

TamiL Apr 11, 2007

LOL thanks for posting Aleta! bear_grin

Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,645

thumperantiques Apr 11, 2007

Aleta,
That's just all so true!!!!!!!!!!

hugs,

Brenda

K Pawz GuestApr 11, 2007

:crackup: :crackup: bear_wub Love it!!! I am going to print the visitor one for our front door!
Awesome

hugs,
Krista

BootButtonBears
Adelaide
Posts: 2,837
Website

BootButtonBears Apr 12, 2007

Thanks Aleta, I just loved reading this, and for animal parents who just love their babies, it is all so true. I have always believed that people who love animals have a "special" part in their soul. It is just a little bundle of compassion that is there that people who don't like animals, and carry on about them negatively, that they just don't have.

It is like children who grow up with animals. It just adds a lovely touch to their whole outlook of life and people. They seem to have a greater understanding of caring and compassion. It breaks my heart to see my little daughters friends who aren't allowed to have a pet, and when they come to our house, they think our little dog is just dreadful and that he should be banished outside. All kids need a pet for their soul, even if it is a little goldfish or mouse.

Posts: 8,574

Dilu Apr 12, 2007

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.

I printed this up and took it to the bathroom with me....Kwatzu opened the door and waltzed in so I gave it to him to read. The cat excused himself to get his reading glasses. By the time he came back I was brushing my teeth. He jumped up on my shoulder, butted my head with his and did his imitation of ROFLMAO......

The inmates have taken over the asylum.......

help?