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BruinwerksI feel kind of silly posting really....nothing grave or fatal has happened... my DH & I received a letter yesterday(hand delivered to our mailbox) from some people we have considered close friends for many years and who are related to our son's birth family. I can't really say what it is regarding (I know...don't ya hate that?!) but we'll just say that words like THOUGHTLESS, HEARTLESS, DISHONOURABLE AND CRUEL were used.
Again, with all the terrible things happening in the world, it seems kind of silly to be so hurt by this but even though I know this isn't true about us, I am devastated. I spent yesterday and this morning wandering around in a fog trying to pretend everything is okay...but it isn't.
I could sure use a hug today! 
Cheryl :(
Teddies to TreasureCheryl I am sending lots of hugs your way :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: You must try to focus on a task or make a new bear!!! That's the only way to get out of that "fog".I guess what comes to mind is that verse "sticks and stones---" but I know that the words feel like a betrayal and that's what hurts isn't it? Go for a walk in the great outdoors and think of the hugs you are getting and the support from those who care.Feel the positive vibes.Sincerely Jane D.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
many, MANY hugs to you!!
people do and say hateful things to make themselves feel better, don't give them that power over you!
in the meantime...
MORE HUGS!!!
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Cheryl, 
I'm hoping it is all a misunderstanding.....although with words like that......ouch! I'm sorry you've been so hurt. It especially smarts when you're friends......or thought you were friends.
My thoughts are with you....and wishing for a brighter day.
Warmest bear hugs, :hug:
Aleta
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Oh Cheryl, can't life be cruel sometimes. Hang in there it will get better. Sending lots of hugs to help you through !
Apple Dumpling Designs:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
I am so sorry...and the worst part is when people can't even be brave enough to say these thing to you and give you a change to defend yourself. (edited to say: I don't think you should ever have to defend yourself against such mean things but should be given the opportunity to if you should chose to. 
)
I had something like that happen to me once with a co-worker to have her learn that I knew absolutely nothing about what she was accusing me of. It had to do with our kids and she assumed since our sons knew each other I knew what she was talking about....the word ASSUME is just terrible.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
DoodlebearsDear Cheryl,
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Hugs Jane. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Pumpkin & Pickle BearsOh Cheryl, what nasty things for someone to say! Sending you hugs........ :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Swan Valley BearsI'm so sorry Cheryl. Some miserable people aren't happy unless they are making other people miserable. I've had my share of them too. I don't usually advocate revenge but the best revenge is living well. So try not to let it get you down.
Posts: 1,836ewww, that's just rotten. I just can't understand how folks can fly off in writings without collecting or checking themselves first. Even if it is a misunderstanding, how do you take back such cruel language and name calling once it's out in the open like that? Big hugs to you my friend :hug: :hug:
At least now you have their number and don't have to waste your precious time and energy on it or them any longer. Don't let it mess with your sunny day anymore!! (that's my favorite phrase for myself..."not gonna mess with my sunny day_______". That and "get up off my bridge troll" 
) Saying some positive, funny and power-punched things like that (to myself) always makes me feel better and gets me back to doing what's important...instead of dwelling on sad sad little people and their issues.
:hug: :hug:
~Chrissi
Aw, hun.
You know, it occurs to me that when these "friends" of yours gave themselves permission to lash out at you using critical words and an angry tone, they themselves were, in fact, being THOUGHTLESS, HEARTLESS, DISHONOURABLE AND CRUEL.
As a human being and even more so as a public figure, I've certainly had my share of this kind of thing. People are full of projections; they decide who I am, what motivates me, what I'm about, based not on first-hand knowledge of me, but rather on their own personal background and looking through their own unique looking glass. The same is true for everyone else on this planet. I guess it's human nature, that people form opinions in this way.
Sometimes the things that are assumed about me, or you, or anyone, are absolutely accurate. When that happens with me, I feel so "seen", and that's a great feeling!
But just as often, what's presumed by others about me is based not on facts or knowledge about me, but on the inner workings of the person doing all the presuming! In such a case, the words those people use to describe me tell me a lot more about them, than they tell me about me.
You and your husband know who you are, right? YES, is the correct answer! If others choose -- and it is a choice -- to see you in ways that don't reflect your real selves, than as has already been said here, you must try to set their fantasies -- and they are fantasies -- about who you are, aside. When you give in to a false perspective and buy into it, in a sense you turn against yourself. And that's the worst possible outcome.
As Ann said... Don't give others that power!
My husband Tim, who's a therapist, taught me something so useful when we first met and I was coming out of a relationship that really wounded me. He told me that I don't have to take in EVERYTHING the world says about me. Rather, I should let in only what's said by those who have my best interests at heart. Sometimes that will be praise and positivity, and sometimes that will be constructive criticism and suggestions for improvement. But when it comes from someone with my best interests at heart, at least I know it's about ME... and not about someone else's petty insecurities, anger problem, or need to feel superior.
You've got every hug I can spare because I've been in your shoes and they're the crappiest shoes on earth.
Be good to YOU! :hug: :hug: :hug:
Past Time BearsYou know you aren't like what you're so-called "friends" said - and I hope that knowledge will overpower the damage that has been done to your feelings. I don't know why, but your post made me think of Shakespeare's quote in Hamlet . . . "This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Waggle Bears:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: I add my name to what everyone has already said. These people stuck a nasty letter in your mailbox, a cowardly thing to do. That would seem to say they don't care what you would have to say about this situation and that's they've chosen to behave as they have regardless of the obviously hurtful comments. No one needs friends like that. So... :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Bine-TeddiesFrom me too :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Ah Cheryl....I'm so sorry this has happened. Things like this hurt....and more so when it comes from people we cared about. But remember that you are above it.....these friends have shown who they truly are with such a cowardly, hateful act. Absolutely rotten. Sending loads of hugs: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
WienCheryl, ok, I´ll send you some huggggs :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: BUT: guess what you really need is an ax and a whole load of fire wood so you can really work out your anger about so much unfairness!
But be careful not to hurt yourself!
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Gaby
Posts: 2,203I am sorry people are so aweful sometimes. :hug: :hug: :hug:
BrisbaneCheryl I'm sorry!!! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Posts: 8,574awww honey, I am so sorry. So very very sorry. Sometimes we love others more than they like us....and when reality hits, well, sometimes it just take a huge chunk out of our hearts. Hugs, all that there are in the world that I can send....
May blessings from above shower down on your heads like glitter and plant seeds of joy in your broken hearts.
gollyslobberkisses, to be mopped up with the softest linen hanky
dilu
Bruinwerksahhhhh.... you guys thank you so much! I knew I could count on my TT buddies to lift me up and help me remember who I am and what's important! It is amazing what those little hugging happyfaces can do.
I don't usually let stupidity like this get me down....they just knew the vulnerable spot - our son.
We feel that we have had to take the highroad so often with this family that frankly, we are getting a little dizzy and feel a nosebleed coming on from the altitude.
I think I have passed the "devastated" portion of the journey and have reached the "incredibly p***ed off - how dare you" stretch of highway! When we reach the "cooler heads must prevail" rest stop - we will respond to them.
Thanks again everyone - you will truly never know what it has meant to me to feel your support...
Cheryl
Posts: 3,540:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Sounds like LIFE is rearing its ugly head again.... So have yet another hug :hug:
Bears by EdieOh Cheryl, I feel for you having to deal with schmcuk like this! It is totally beyond me how ANYONE - never mind so called friends! - could use ANY of those words in reference to EITHER you or Dwayne - they OBVIOUSLY don't know you at ALL!!!
Sending all the hugs I have to you to cheer you! up! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Sending you a big hug Cheryl! hope you are feeling better. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
~Melanie
Bearz by IlzeSometimes the things that are assumed about me, or you, or anyone, are absolutely accurate. When that happens with me, I feel so "seen", and that's a great feeling!
But just as often, what's presumed by others about me is based not on facts or knowledge about me, but on the inner workings of the person doing all the presuming! In such a case, the words those people use to describe me tell me a lot more about them, than they tell me about me.
You and your husband know who you are, right? YES, is the correct answer! If others choose -- and it is a choice -- to see you in ways that don't reflect your real selves, than as has already been said here, you must try to set their fantasies -- and they are fantasies -- about who you are, aside. When you give in to a false perspective and buy into it, in a sense you turn against yourself. And that's the worst possible outcome.
As Ann said... Don't give others that power!
:hug: :hug: :hug:
I agree with Shelli.
Sending you lots of hugs! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Some people are very insensitive. Big Hugs for you :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Jane
