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Waggle BearsYes, these kids do put an interesting spin on things. Sometimes it's necessary for me to read it twice to know what they mean.
Continued from yesterday...
Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.
Johann Back wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present.
Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
France was in a serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio, and Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
The End
I hope you found this 5-part alternative history lesson interesting and fun. When you have a bad day, just pull out this story and give yourself a good laugh.
Past Time BearsThanks so much, Marlys, for this priceless history lesson. What a comedy of errors!!!
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trying to come up for air!!! :crackup: :crackup:
Oh man, and I thought things were bad in America ~ Europe was butchered far worse You're right, these are priceless!!! Thanks so much for sharing them :hug: I'm saving them for rainy days....and teachers who think they're really teaching! 
