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Blankie Bears
Sorry to "vent" my troubles, but I am so upset about an event that took place last night and maybe it will help to share. My 23 year old daughter, Amy, is taking a trip to Europe and left me in charge of her young cat, named Marta, who is about 2 years old. She adopted Marta in November and the cat is such a cutie that we all fell in love with her. Problem is--she loves the outdoors and manages to get out whenever possible. She has even hidden between the dog's legs when I opened the door to walk him! I should be putting all this in the past tense, because she got out last night and was killed by a car right in front of our house. It is so ironic--we live on a quiet street and have had many outdoor cats, ours and strays, in our yard for years without any being hit by cars. There is a large back yard and woods that Marta usually goes to--why she was in the road we will never know. It was such a shock to see her lyiong there when she had been alive and well just a few minutes before.
I have decided to let my daughter finish her trip and not tell her the sad news until she is almost home in 10 days. I don't want to ruin it for her. And today is her birthday, too. So sad. I hope she will forgive me for not keeping Marta safe. I feel so guilty, but I guess that Marta was bound to have an unhappy ending. She was fearless.
Thanks for "listening"...Ginny
OH Ginny!!!! I am SO sorry
Back Road BearsOh, Ginny!!!
Your daughter may not forgive you for not telling her right away but I'm sure she won't blame you for Marta's unfortunate death as it's not your fault. And I can certainly understand not telling her while she's out of the country... and on her birthday. Gosh! I'm sorry sorry you've had to experince this. You'll feel better once your daughter knows and you've both worked through the loss.
Huge hugs,
Daphne :hug: :hug:
Blankie BearsYou are right- I can't get this off my mind, primarily because I can't tell EITHER of my daughters--they are travelling together! I feel lost because I do not have them to talk to and there is no closure until I see them again on June 15th. Amy is so sensitive and emotional--she wouldn't handle it well, especially away from home. Her sister, Jen is a real animal lover- she enters Cornell vet school next month. (Daphne's question about what did you want to be when you grew up reminded me of jen- who studied Art history in college and returned to school to fulfill her childhood dream of becomeing a vet! ) I think I will e-mail her just before the trip ends and ask her to break it to her sister gently so that Amy knows before she returns home. What a mess! Ginny
'Bear' Bottoms OriginalsGinny, I am so sorry to hear that. Having lost a VERY beloved pet in an unfortunate accident and having to hear it from my dad, I know just how hard it is. I agree that you are right for waiting, though, as it really won't do any good for her to know now. :hug: My dad also waited until I was almost ready to come home (this happened back when I was in high school) and while it was really hard to come to terms with, I'm glad that he didn't make me sad any earlier in my summer vacation. I hope that helps...
Kimberly W.
Taber, AlbertaI'm sooo sorry to hear that! 
but it's not your fault! Our cats like to sneek out whenever possible too and it's so hard to keep a cat indoors, and trying to catch them is another issue. I'm sure she will understand :hug: :hug:
Storytime BearsGinny, what a sad thing to have happened, I always wonder why animals go into the road when there is so much safe area around, I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with them and they know this is a way to end the suffering. I had a dog that was very ill and very old and NEVER got in the road, he was a very street wise dog, but we found out he had heart worm and one day he got out of the fence and got hit. It was so hard to think that , that was the way it ended for him but I guess the suffering was maybe too much for him. I think you are smart not to tell your daughter during the trip, if there was something she could do then I would have let her know, but it will not change anything, to let her enjoy her trip. You're a great mom for thinking of her happiness.
Hugs
Jodi
So sorry to hear about your daughters cat, Ginny - so sad.
Your daughter will understand that accidents do happen and it was not your fault.
Last year my neighbour was looking after their daughters black labrador while they were away in Fiji.
One night the hungry dog, who slept in the garage got into some slug bait that was high
up on a shelf - in the morning the poor dog was frothing around the mouth and she took it to the vet,
but it died which was very sad.
Warmest bear hugs
Carolyn
:hug:
Ginny, I accept that when one time is up then your time is up, no matter where you are or what you are doing. Just very sad that you had the incident happen to you while minding your daughter's cat.
After the sadness I am sure everyone will come to terms with the unfortunate accident.
Lynette
Jellybelly BearsOh Ginny how awful....hugs and I hope your daughter will be okay... :hug: :hug: :hug:
WienGinny, ohno! This is sad!
:hug:
Guess, I would not tell my doughter either about it when she was away- she´ll be sad enough when she comes back.
You should not feel guilty at all, even if it sounds so sad.´
There is another kitty out there, waiting to adopt Amy...
Gaby 
Blankie Bears
Thanks to everyone for their kinds words and support. This website is really about more than just teddy bears--it is away to meet and communicate with very nice people! :hug: It really helped to hear from all of you. Ginny
Real Deal BearsOh Ginny, so sorry to hear about what happened to your little charge, these things do happen even when you take every care.
I am sure your Daughter will understand. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Chaska, MinnesotaDear Ginny: How sad...You did the best you could to care for your daughter's kitty. Accidents happen. Animals will slip out and that is the fact of life. Your daughter surely knows the disposition of her cat and the propensity to sneak outside.
I agree not to tell her about the cat until she gets home. No need in spoiling her trip. I would suggest taking her to the local animal shelter and buying her another kitty as soon as possible. I think it helps with the healing. Oh and lastly, make the new kitty an indoor cat. Just a thought.... :hug: :hug: :hug:
Posts: 3,540If a cat wants to be outside, or on the opposite side of any door, there's no way to humanly keep it from doing so. They are just too smart, and too sneaky for their own good.
I'm with the others, you really shouldn't beat yourself up over this. Its very sad, but definitely not your fault. And I think you're a wonderful mom not telling your daughter until she comes home :hug: As the others have said, it would be entirely different if she could do something, but it won't change anything. She may as well enjoy her trip and have happy memories.
So so sorry that you're having to deal with all the emotional struggle alone, though At least you've got TTers to give you a hug :hug:
Past Time Bears :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: It was an accident and not your fault. It happened to me with my daughter's cat several years ago and I can empathize with your guilt feelings - but, I don't think your daughter will hold you responsible. And I, too, agree with not telling her until she's ready to come home. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Waggle BearsI'm so sorry you're going through this loss but I agree with you about not telling your daughter while she's away. I'm sure she'll understand that it was something that you could not prevent. Big hugs to you. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Blankie BearsThanks again to all of you--several of my students have kittens that will be up for adoption in a few weeks...if we got one and raised it ouselves to be an indoor cat that may work out better. I think that it may be easier to keep a cat indoors if they have never been outdoors. What do you think? The cat that died had been rescued by a shelter from living on the streets, so when we got her she had definitely been used to going out and was quite a hunter. Amy plans to move to New York City soon and the other cat might have been miserable there. Hopefully a kitten would be more adaptable. I was going to surprise her with one, but my son suggests I let her decide on one. I'll listen to him. Ginny
Hi Ginny,
My condolences on the loss of your daughter's cat. I do agree that you should wait until she comes home to tell her so as not to ruin her birthday or her trip.
Having had many cats over the years there are some that just want to go outside. It doesn't matter if they are allowed to or not, or if they have ever been outside or not, I think it is just the curious nature of the cat. I do think that if your daughter had taken this cat to NY the cat would've been miserable so maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
Getting a kitten will definitely ease the loss of the cat and a kitten will better adapt to not being allowed to go outside.
Don't worry all will be alright.
Hugs,
Blankie BearsI agree Gijzette- thanks so much for the reassurance. Ginny
Chaska, MinnesotaGinny wrote: several of my students have kittens that will be up for adoption in a few weeks...if we got one and raised it ouselves to be an indoor cat that may work out better. I think that it may be easier to keep a cat indoors if they have never been outdoors. What do you think?
Ginny: Absolutely, if you get a kitten, keep it indoors. Get a litter box and good litter. Clean the box everyday and the new kitty will be fine. I advise never to allow the kitten to venture out or tempt it to "just stay in the yard". Once they get a taste for outside, they will always want to go out. My mom brought in strays from the outside (bigger cats) and they constantly slipped outside. Those she raised from kittens and not allowed to be out, never try to leave the indoors. I have cats for over 30 years and all were indoor cats. None tried to sneak out. I think you have a great idea to get her a kitten.
Blankie BearsShe'll be back in a week. I will make this suggestion to her. Thanks so much. Ginny
Matilda Huggington-beare:hug: I'm so sorry :hug:
Delartful BearsOh Ginny - there was nothing you could do - it's not your fault - your daughter WILL understand!
Danni
