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Strange BearsThese are supposed to be actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations. There are some good one liners that can be used when needed. My fav is 26......... 
1. 'Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.'
2. 'I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. 'This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.
4. 'Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. 'When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
6. 'This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
7. 'He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
8. 'This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
9. 'This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
10. 'Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
11. 'A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
12. 'He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
13. 'He's been working with glue too much.
14. 'He would argue with a signpost.
15. 'He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
16. 'When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
17. 'If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
18. 'A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
19. 'A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
20. 'Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
21. 'Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
22. 'He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
23. 'If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
24. 'If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
25. 'If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
26. 'It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
27. 'One neuron short of a synapse.
28. 'Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
29. 'Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'.
30. 'The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.'
AM BEARSNow those I like, especially number 8
Waggle Bears:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
All very, very funny.
Past Time Bears:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
Bears by EdieHilarious!!! :crackup: :crackup:
MerBear OriginalsI think 12 is my favourite!
Marion
Woodbury Park BearsNumber 29
Raewyn
Hearts Ease BearsI love it i was laughing so hard i was crying! the last thing i read that funny was excerpts from employees at quantas airlines! oh i needed that! 25 is my favorite! deb :crackup: :crackup:
Strange BearsI must admit I would have loved to be mean enough to write some of these comments on the reports of some of my staff (when I worked in a managment position) but I could never get the nerve up to be that mean! but boy did some of them deserve it!!
Baird'sBears:crackup: :crackup: I'm going to save these! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
Swan Valley BearsUnfortunately, I know too many 17's.
I wanted to buy my brother an "I Wanna Talk About Me" t-shirt at the Toby Keith concert but they were out.
Once he called me on the phone and talked 45 minutes straight. Mind you, he's telling me interesting things, like all about the floor plan of his office at work. Then he asked how I was doing. After I got two words out, he said he had to go, bye.
