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Nobody has to tiptoe around religion at TT, so no worries about that, Lisa! Faith is not an off-limits topic here. In fact, back when I was still an Advisor here, we intentionally designed an area -- Bearhugs -- especially FOR prayer requests and requests for emotional support.
Bearhugs was initiated at Dilu's own urging and her idea to create this special area was supported by the Advisors and Admin here. It was purposefully separated from the General Discussion area, so that people who wanted to express their faith could do so safely, without fear that less religious members of TT would be bothered by such expressions. I mention this because there had been member complaints about faith-based postings interfering with their experience of the General Discussion area; not everyone here is a Christian, of course! Rather than forbidding religious content, TT created a safe haven for it, so that ALL readers could find comfort on the board.
This is all the more reason why Dilu's comments yesterday and today about feeling censored and judged by her own team here make little sense to so many. I love Dilu a lot, so I'm really sad about her choices, especially given that she acted without any communication, questions, or discussion, and as far as I know, never expressed to anyone before today that she feels she's had to hide her spiritual self. Nobody knew.
As for the eyelid topic, I remember it fairly well -- some of the participants, and the controversial material it covered -- and I agree with you completely, Lisa. I don't think the subject matter that was discussed IN that thread was funny at all. It was, in fact, very serious stuff, about design rights and the like. I was bummed to see it go sour, because I thought the discussion itself was educational and valuable and I learned from it. It was important stuff.
What's IS funny, though, in the big picture -- and to me, it IS funny, in an incredulous way -- is that ANY conversation about flippin' eyelids -- EYELIDS! -- could possibly become so heated that it required closure and/or deletion!! The point Chrissi was making yesterday when she brought that thread up, was that even a discussion about eyelids has the potential to devolve into ugliness, given the right circumstances... and so why on Earth should we think ourselves capable of discussing politics, a topic infinitely more inflammatory right from the outset. ?!?
My request today that we not rehash that particular thread point for point, reintroducing it for comment, wasn't about you in any way, Lisa. Frankly, I didn't remember you even being involved in the thread.
Rather, my request was an attempt to keep inflammatory comments about an inflammatory thread to a minimum, because other inflammatory things are already happening here that haven't yet healed. I don't hold any particular power here. I was speaking as just another TT member, asking other members not to bring up yet ANOTHER difficult topic, for yet ANOTHER go, during a very difficult few days here on the board. While it disappoints and frustrates me on occasion, I care deeply about this place. I was caretaking it and its members in my request. If it seemed otherwise... well, then I just plain feel unseen.
For the record, I agree with you completely as well, that if people don't like the content of a particular thread -- whether it be about eyelids, or politics, or the kind of stuffing someone uses, or God -- they can simply read elsewhere. Or leave. I'm not sure why this proves so difficult for some. Every forum I've ever visited would surely be healthier and happier if every member did just that; exit threads that cause discomfort, rather than posting in ways that spread the discomfort around.
Last, more generally and not about anything posted in this particular thread, or yesterday's... I'd like to strongly suggest that, if people don't like the policies here or at any forum, they take their concerns to forum management directly. That's really the only way to effect change, and it certainly avoids the "you shoulds" that get tossed about when members feel greater topic monitoring is warranted.
Ultimately, if people are posting according to the rules of a particular forum, member comments about what "should' and "should not" be discussed really have no place on the board. Forum management either allows certain subjects to be discussed, or it does not. It's easy enough to read the rules to discover what's kosher and what's not; it's really quite black and white. It's not up to the individual members to decide for the forum what's game for discussion, and what isn't. That right belongs to the site owner and its chosen management team; not to the readers.
So if you want your forum to look, feel, and act differently, people, take your concerns to the seat of actual power and change -- the forum management, and not the members you think are making missteps. You might be right in your belief, but until your concerns become forum policy, functionally, they're nothing more than mere opinion.
Just some food for thought.
To clarify .. firstly, Lisa I apologise if my virtual raised eyebrow that a topic on eyelids of all things, could get heated enough to cause controversy, has nipped at you. I honestly did not see that topic at the time and had no idea of what it entailed, I was merely surprised that a furore could be created by such a topic and yes, I confess, a little entertained at the thought that apparently no topic can reliably be deemed 'safe' for forum discussion! There was nothing personal intended. It's long gone after all and was of no relevance to me at the time.
Secondly a general point made to anyone who is still interested enough to be bothered to read it: I am amazed that a throwaway comment about never discussing religion or politics, offered in humour, could cause such intensity among adults. We are after all, entitled to our own viewpoints - I respect those offered and find them very interesting, informative and educational - I mistakenly assumed the same courtesy would be returned to me. Unfortunately it appears I misjudged and for that (and that alone) I apologise.
Come on folks, since when did we lose our sense of humour and appreciation of one another on TT? The US election affects the entire world and as we are a global community on TT, it made perfect sense to me that TT'ers might care to share thoughts, beliefs and perspectives.
Hearts Ease Bearspersonally i love Teddy Talk because living in Rural Vt the internet has opened up a whole new world of people and ideas. I don't post often because I still feel a bit isolated here..I am stunned at the artistry and the generosity i see from most of the people who post here and its heaven to have similar interests discussed. I too " stepped in it" one day and have been VERY reluctant to post since. I am by nature quiet and would cut off my arm before deliberately offending anyone..ok too graphic,,you know what i mean! I say before we post we have a cup of coffee ( or whatever) relax for our real world lives and THINK about what we're reading! I never in my post intended to slight or slam anyone! and its a beautiful day here in Vt and im going outdoors now!! have a great day everyone! deb
Newcastle, OntarioTo clarify .. firstly, Lisa I apologise if my virtual raised eyebrow that a topic on eyelids of all things, could get heated enough to cause controversy, has nipped at you. I honestly did not see that topic at the time and had no idea of what it entailed, I was merely surprised that a furore could be created by such a topic and yes, I confess, a little entertained at the thought that apparently no topic can reliably be deemed 'safe' for forum discussion! There was nothing personal intended. It's long gone after all and was of no relevance to me at the time.
Secondly a general point made to anyone who is still interested enough to be bothered to read it: I am amazed that a throwaway comment about never discussing religion or politics, offered in humour, could cause such intensity among adults. We are after all, entitled to our own viewpoints - I respect those offered and find them very interesting, informative and educational - I mistakenly assumed the same courtesy would be returned to me. Unfortunately it appears I misjudged and for that (and that alone) I apologise.
Come on folks, since when did we lose our sense of humour and appreciation of one another on TT? The US election affects the entire world and as we are a global community on TT, it made perfect sense to me that TT'ers might care to share thoughts, beliefs and perspectives.
Thank you Paula! I was not going to post on this thread but the circumstances leading up to it have left me completely boggled. We are a global community with a curious nature and this was an opportunity to learn. I realize we should not have posted our personal views on candidates and for that, I truly apologize. I live in Canada and we get bombarded with complete coverage from American stations so I feel we definitely do know all of the issues with the election, and we are also the country most affected by it's outcome. I can't remember when another American election was so closely scrutinized by all Canadians.
However, I'm definitely with Shelli on this. I absolutely do not understand why members can not choose to ignore a thread, rather than insisting on it being closed or censored, because they disagree with it. I'm off to play with my grandson.
hugs,
Brenda
Flying Fur StudiosI'm also of the thinking that if you don't like it, don't read it.
I really don't know why this is hard and I don't understand how people can get so offended by something said on a forum.
Doesn't life go on after we get up off the computer??
Often I feel TT is to "fluffy" to suit my personality. I like a good argument sometimes and heck, these 'controversial' topics get read WAY more than any other ones here .
People come back that have left, lurkers post for the 1st time. If you didn't enjoy it, you wouldn't read it. It's just too easy not to click on something if you don't want to.
If you want to know the real me, that's what's facebook is for. Unfortunately I feel I must censor myself here because someone's too often offended.
And now I've said my piece. For some reason I just had to!!
Bears by EdieHeather, I couldn't have said it better! I completely agree with you. I am just dumbfounded that people so take to heart what people (that they don't even really know!) have said - or even worse what they wrongly interpret them as saying.
I still feel there are only two reasons for being badly hurt or offended by what someone says -
1. If it is someone whose judgement you truly value.
2. If it is something that deep down you know to be true about yourself but have never been able to admit and don't want to face.
Everything else is water off a duck's back and just one person's opinion that really doesn't mean a hoot to you!
I too enjoy a good debate - but not with someone who takes it personally and gets all offended and emotional - that takes all the fun out of it!
Flying Fur StudiosI still feel there are only two reasons for being badly hurt or offended by what someone says -
1. If it is someone whose judgement you truly value.
2. If it is something that deep down you know to be true about yourself but have never been able to admit and don't want to face.
Words of wisdom Edie! I've never thought of it that way but it's so true! Something I'll have to remember when I get offended! LOL
Oh and have you SEEN how many 'hits' this thread specifically has had?
Hot tops are always big sellers.
Tami Eveslage Original Teddy BearsI think it is entirely possible to be hurt by something which has been said, even if the intent of the speaker was not to be hurtful.
Here's a funny little analogy that made me think of this. Yesterday, I was getting my little kitty out of my son's top bunk bed to take her downstairs for the night. While lifting her over the guard rail I lost my balance a little, stepping down the ladder backwards. In the moment when kitty and I felt ourselves falling, she spread her back legs and claws, and in doing so, she clawed my face! OUCH! It sure did hurt, and it left a nice set of red stripes on my cheek! 
We didn't actually fall, and I didn't drop her, but she did hurt me--even though she didn't mean to.
Words can be like that too--even when the speaker does not mean to be hurtful. Sometimes it is because a meaning was misconstrued, but sometimes it's just because of passionate differences of opinion, or different life experiences which makes us each receive things in our own way. Feeling hurt or not feeling hurt about something is not something a person can necessarily choose. It is a feeling. Being a sensitive individual my whole life has led me to the point where I don't beat myself up for feelings I have. But if someone has hurt me I try to consider their intentions when choosing to react or not to react. If there is the slightest chance the hurt was unintended, I assume it was, because I do not want to be hurtful myself. I cannot always choose how I feel about things, but how I choose to react to those feelings can make me feel better or get beyond it. If I choose not to react, I guess I am censoring myself. But that is not always a bad thing... I just look at it as being sensitive and considerate of others. I love this forum and it does matter to me what my fellow TT think of me.
Hope my rambling makes sense to someone 
Kingfisher Farm Teddies and Folk ArtTami, it made perfect sense to me, thank you for voicing your thoughts here, Pam 
Bears by EdieBut if someone has hurt me I try to consider their intentions when choosing to react or not to react. If there is the slightest chance the hurt was unintended, I assume it was
Oh Tami - you are SO right there! I certainly can't see the point in assuming the opposite - that's just asking for trouble! Someone could probably tell me right to my face that they hate me and I'd just assume they were having a bad day! :crackup: Sometimes we just need to develop a thicker skin to get through life in one piece! I would never intentionally say anything to hurt someone and I REALLY try to assume that others aren't trying to personally attack or hurt me.
Kingfisher Farm Teddies and Folk Art
Edie!! 