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BootButtonBears BootButtonBears
Adelaide
Posts: 2,837
Website


The Silent Treatment


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM ' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM ... Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sar castically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied , 'in-laws


WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, ' but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.


W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'


CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'
The husband said, ' You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........'HEBREWS'



God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,645

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup: Thanks Christine!

                                                   hugs,

                                                   Brenda

TamiL Dolls N Dreams
Aurora, Colorado
Posts: 6,454

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  bear_grin  bear_grin

patsylakebears Patsy Lake Bears
Sydney
Posts: 3,442

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

katiecountrymouse1 KatieCountryBears
Bolton-le-sands, Carnforth
Posts: 3,101
Website

Hi Christine,

Love all of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :crackup:

Love kayx. bear_wub  bear_wub

Jigpaws Jigpaws
Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 564

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Fantastic Christine  bear_thumb

Hugs
Janice

doodlebears Doodlebears
UK
Posts: 7,414

doodlebears Celebration Ambassador

Very funny, thanks for the laughs.  bear_thumb  bear_thumb  bear_thumb  bear_thumb

Hugs, Jane.  bear_thumb  bear_flower  bear_thumb

Jellybelly Bears Jellybelly Bears
Australia
Posts: 4,066

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:   thanks for the laugh Christine  bear_tongue

Laurie Laurie Lou Bears
Norfolk
Posts: 3,246

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:
Laurie :hug:

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