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Dilu Nov 9, 2005

I am stunned by Mandie's experience, and ashamed to admit that I had no idea this was going on behind the scenes.

Ladies, and gents, please, if something is going on, if you are getting hateful mail or messages, and you think that we could help, let us know.  Sometimes just a little private message to the offender can clear things up. And sometimes, even with the best of intentions, we can hurt with our words while never meaning to.

Because of the privacy built into the site, we do not have accsess to anyone's e-mail or private messages except our own.  So if you folks that make TT so special to everyone don't tell us about problems we might just be going along fat and sassy and oblivious to someone's pain.

I really wish I had known, perhaps Mandie just venting in private might have eased some of the pressures she was feeling.  I would have happily listened and commiserated. 

If she does leave we will all miss out on somethin special, MANDIE, and her ideas, personality, charm, love and I think that's a lot to loose.

So, don't bottle up the problems guys, let someone help you....thats what we are here for....

I know that all the Help advisors and the advisors from Intercal, care about the people who make up Teddy Talk.  That's you guys!

We care about all of you and want only succsess and good will for each person here.
-I wish-I-had-known-and-hadn't-been-so-oblivious

Hugs to all

Dilu 

kbonsall Nov 9, 2005

I wish she would have told me... I am very upset right now!    She is an awesome kind-hearted person and doesnt deserve any treatment that would make her go to extremes!

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner SponsorNov 9, 2005

VERY well said, Dilu.  Yes please, Teddy Talkers . . . let the Help Advisors know if something or someone is bothering you on this board.  Our intention here is to provide a safe, helpful, fun place to discuss something that is dear to all of us . . . teddy bears.  Often, all of us get off topic and that's certainly okay . . . that's what the General Discussion Forum is for . . . talking about stuff that good friends like to gab about.  This is NOT the place for hurtful accusations and it is sad if this has happened.  We need to feel good about ourselves AND each other.  My apologies to you, Mandie, that you have been hurt as a result of being a member of this board and I certainly hope it doesn't happen again.

Shelli Retired Help Advisor, Banner SponsorNov 9, 2005

Yes, and as another Advisor I want to jump on board with what Dilu and Sue Ann are saying.  In fact, I wrote something similar in the other thread.  Here's a summary, so I don't have to retype:

I think the resolution/mediation process is supposed to be, please alert an Advisor of the trouble you're having with a person/thread/issue/concern.  We are here to do just that:  HELP. That's why this particular word was made part of the "job" title.

I can't emphasize enough that we Advisors are here to help, and that we really WANT to help ... but we can only do so, if we are fully informed about what's going on.  We have families and jobs and lives like the rest of you, and volunteer our time here, and are not mind readers.  So our capacity to offer assistance is limited to our knowledge base, which must be provided by you, the forum participants, to the most complete degree possible.  I know that I, personally, am committed to confidentiality when it comes to personal communiques about board issues and problems, and I think I can speak for Sue Ann, Christine, Judi, Neysa, Johnna, Quy and Dilu in saying the same.  (Hey, did I forget anybody?)

Please, anyone and everyone... do come to an Advisor of your choosing, if and when problems arise, with a COMPLETE -- and not just politely-worded -- explanation of your difficulties here, so that we can help you resolve them before they become too big to handle, and result in hurt feelings for all.

I'd like to add that, if you have a problem, please, don't just drop an Advisor a note that casually says, "Hey, I had a question," or, "I was wondering if..."   

I say this because I admit, I feel some guilt about what has happened.  Mandie wrote me what I interpreted as a casual note, on 11/8,  to say she felt overwhelmed with the task of organizing the holiday card exchange, and plainly asking if I could possibly take it on in her stead ... but not remotely letting me into the upsetedness she was feeling, or news of unkind private messages members had been sending, or her feelings of being mistreated by the board as a whole, to the point that she was considering leaving it. 

If you are having a problem on the board that has your blood boiling, I'd ask that, in contacting an Advisor, you communicate the intensity of that problem directly by saying something like, "PUHLEASE, tell me how to handle member XXX, because they are driving me quietly insane!"

Jenny was right in her other post; it IS easy to accidentlly offend, or misinterpret, or misread, or project motive and meaning where there is none, on the internet -- in forums, emails, private messages, IM's, or otherwise.

Thanks, all.

shantell Nov 9, 2005

Thank you advisors...I'm shocked...I just can't imagine anyone in this group purposely trying to offend another.  It makes you want to be VERY careful about what you type.  I would hope that if I were to say something to anyone in this group they would address me first.  I agree with what Jenny said as well.   And, we are all from different cultures as well...as we have all learned what can be nonchalant conversation in one country can be found somewhat if not completely offensive in another and for the most part we speak the same language.

I have emailed Mandie personally to tell her how sorry I am this has happened to her.  I hope she agrees to stay and all this can be resolved.

Love to you all...

Eileen Nov 9, 2005

:hug: Thanks, Advisors!  :hug:

Eileen

Marie_ Nov 10, 2005

Thank you advisors.  :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug::love: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

plushkinbear Nov 10, 2005

I haven't read Mandie's thread but I really thought it's great idea with cards.  :o
I'm shocked....don't know much details..... so upset with this accident.. :cry:

Thank you our advisors not just for techical improving of our TT but for this support and help. :hug: :angel:

Hope this situation never repit

HUGSS, JULIA

Pipa Nov 10, 2005

Thanks Ladies for letting us know you are here for the members if we need you :)

:hug:

rufnut Nov 11, 2005

I have been off line for a few days and catching up on things, I am absolutely stunned, and shocked at what has happened, thanks Advisors, hope Mandie is still with us. ??????? :hug: