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dangerbears Sep 23, 2009

Hi all,

You know I love bears -- male bears and female bears. But I have to admit that I cringe when I see or hear anything described as "girly."

Maybe it's because I grew up a few decades ago, when women in the workforce were still known as "the girls in the office." And maybe it's because I went to marches and joined arms with women of all ages to fight for an Equal Rights Amendment to the US constitution (which never did get passed).

I've come to terms now with the word "girl," not only for children, but also as an affectionate term for my best female friends. The word "girly," however, still seems demeaning to me.

I'd love to hear what you all think. It would be wonderful if someday all female-type terms were a great compliment, but I don't think we're there yet.

So what's the verdict? Does "girly bear" strike anyone else as icky?

Becky

Carlyle Bear Co. Sep 23, 2009

Gosh, I recently described one of my bears as having long eyelashes to give her a "girly look".  I never would have imagined that someone would be annoyed or offended by that.  To me it evokes images of being feminine and sweet.  Everyone is different I guess.

Barling Bears Sep 23, 2009

What!!!!!?????  I think it all depends on the way any word is used and in what context.  I don't mind the word "girly" at all. At least it's feminine!

In fact, I think these days, people are getting way too sensitive over what we should and shouldn't call things.  The world has gone mad!

So, go "girly bear", go!!!  He! 

Hugs to all

Marilyn  (despite having a few decades under my belt too, there's nothing wrong with feeling girly!)

sylvia bjb Sep 23, 2009

I think "girly bears" are great....I make quite a few of them. I also think "boy bears" are great as well. I also like the color pink and the color blue!!!   Am I strange.............

dangerbears Sep 23, 2009

I had the feeling I'd get some good responses from this group:)

I don't think it's being too sensitive to question these things. Words are powerful, and I'm sure we can all think of a few that we're glad have fallen out of favor.

Lisa, I'm still smiling over your teary-faced bear icon and your sweet long-lashed bear, but it's your signature line that has cheered me up the most today -- love it!

Becky

ThomasAdam Sep 23, 2009

So what's the verdict? Does "girly bear" strike anyone else as icky?

This is quite common here in England -- especially highlighted with hobbies/activities which are considered as gener-dominant.  I suppose it's the same for the opposite way round where women try and do things that mostly men have dominated.

It used to bother me a lot that a given activity was described as "girly".  Given the last decades of history -- such as with the Suffragette have helped push through rights of women for instance, one would think that society en masse would overlook such gender-divides.  Seemingly not though.  Mind you -- a lot of what is described as "girly" tends to run within peers; groups of people, so the description tends to me quite isolated. at least in my experience.

I mean, take for instance crocheting --- that is something that many people would describe as "girly" and yet I bet there's plenty of men who do this sort of thing, even perhaps with sewing; I know some men find these things relaxing and therapeutic.  And whilst I personally can sew in a limited fashion, I don't necessarily enjoy it.  :)

But in terms of teddy bears, and having those being described as "girly" -- pfffft.  I don't care; only the uneducated would describe it as such, and I am proud to be a teddy bear collector.  When I was at Hugglets there were a large number of men, many of whom were perhaps with their partners, but nevertheless they were there, being just as girly, presumably.  :)

-- Thomas Adam

Carlyle Bear Co. Sep 23, 2009

Becky,
It was a thought provoking question and it just shows how important descriptions of our bears can be in determining the "personality" they portray to potential buyers. :clap:

  Personally I don't care for the term fluffy because it describes something without substance. :crackup:  I'm kidding, I'm kidding. :crackup: Seriously though words can be just as powerful as actions.  I do try to be careful in both.  Glad you like my signature.

jenny Sep 23, 2009

I don't have a problem with 'girly'....if you assume all the bears we make are designed to be collectable artist pieces my thoughts are that calling a bear 'girly' is a way of saying 'girl-like' as opposed to bear-like ( beary) or boy-like.
I detest with the word 'cutesy' which in my mind implies some kind of vaccuous simplicity requiring no imagination or skill, just enough nouse to create a useless piece of fluff. That gets me going... so as a maker of cutesy, girly bears I guess I should just grin and 'bear' it!!! :crackup:

Daphne Sep 23, 2009

I can't think of a better word to describe a female teddy bear than "girly"! Let's face it, teddy bears, for all intents and purposes are meant to be cute. To me "girly" is a cutesy term so it seems very fitting for a girl teddy bear to be called that. It's a TEDDY BEAR - not a human. I really don't think the girl bears mind.

Jaina Sep 23, 2009

I don't have an issue with the word girly, I do have issues with the word "nice"    Why say something is 'nice' when you can say it's wonderful, fabulous, caring - saying something/someone is 'nice' means they are not quite good enough to be anything in particular. it's like a word people use when they have no passion.

desertmountainbear Sep 23, 2009

To me there are girl bears, boy bears and girly bears.  Girl bears being female.  Girly bears being pink, and fluffy.  My daughter is a teenager, the fluffy pink girls she knows are called girly, girls.
Joanne

dangerbears Sep 23, 2009

Wonderful answers, everyone! (I can't get these smilies to go into my messages, but I really am enjoying the humor.)

It looks as if I'm not winning many converts to my campaign, and perhaps what's happened over the past 20 years is that the adjective has gone over to the good side. (Maybe all that "girl power" stuff from the Spice Girls paid off:)

I remember the first time I became aware of this "new" word, and I've attached a link to an old Saturday Night Live skit featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger with "Hans and Franz" the body-builders. It's not pretty, in my opinion: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/88/88ghansfranz.phtml

For myself, (and anyone else who worries that this word might be a bit "loaded") the word "feminine" remains the best choice, but now I know that "girly" is not icky, just pink and fluffy... oh, wait! Not fluffy! (big smiley)

Becky

ThomasAdam Sep 23, 2009

Wonderful answers, everyone! (I can't get these smilies to go into my messages, but I really am enjoying the humor.)

I hope my new bear won't be too "girly" then.  :)

-- Thomas Adam

dangerbears Sep 23, 2009

Thomas, for you I had a very boy-y bear in mind, but sometimes these bears have a mind of their own:)

Becky

susiray Sep 25, 2009

i dont think a day goes past where i haven't used the word girly at some stage in my day, i think its a great word ..... i just got a new pink girly phone xx

peterbear Sep 26, 2009

Hi Becky,

I understand what you mean, but I do have to agree with the majority of the TT'ers here, that I don't really mind the term "girly" for a teddy.

In fact, one of the artists who replied above (if the shoe fits...) , "refused" to let me adopt a teddy because she thought it was "too girly" for me    (actually it was more of a friendly advice).  But I think she was right after all (though I hate to admit it  ).

Hugs,  :hug:

Peterbear

All Bear Sep 26, 2009

For me the word 'girly' is simply a celebration of feminity.

dangerbears Sep 26, 2009

Thanks everyone, for taking the time to write.

Perhaps the word has been appropriated by the people it was once meant to demean. If it's now a celebration of femininity, as Paula says, and used in that way by women, especially, that is a great sign of progress. (By the way, I never intended to say that I had heard any TT people use the word negatively. I understood how you meant it, but it's still a "loaded" word to me. Did anyone check out that SNL script?)

Ellen, I have to admit that my cousins and I once nicknamed our grandfather "grumpy grandpa." I don't think he ever heard it, but that certainly is a bad name for anyone:)

Best,
Becky

Carolyn Green Sep 26, 2009

I do not have an issue with Girly either, to me it is a term of endearment and embracing the
feminine side.

Hugs
Carolyn

Bubble-Up Bears Sep 27, 2009

I agree with you Becky in that it's all in how the word is used. Many use it as an endearing word. Some don't.
There is a sitcom from the 90's that I use to watch and in one episode the Dad was playing basketball with his teenage daughter and to psych her out he was waving his arms in front of her as she tried to make a basket and the whole time he was yelling over and over again "Girly girly girly!!" as loud as he could. This was his attempt to make her feel she was inadequate to make the basket because she was a girl and played like one.
My point is it's all in the way you use it and I believe most bear artist use it in an endearing loving way when making bears.  
Maybe we should all get together and play a game of basketball.

dangerbears Sep 27, 2009

Oh, my! What a horrifying thought that a father would do that to a daughter -- even on TV!

In the real world, however, I'm ready to accept the "positivization" of this sometimes mis-used word. (I really wouldn't have expected any less from teddy bear people than positivization:) So as ever, I look forward to seeing many more of your lady bears, mama bears, girl bears, and girly bears!

Becky