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For artists and collectors sponsored by Intercal...your mohair supplier and Johnna's Mohair Store
One of my customers sent me these....you may have seen them before, but they are funny...................
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second
person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
Nova Scotia,Canada
Posts: 3,177HA HA HA HA HA HA HA - what a great way to start the day Jenny!
I can really relate to the growing old bit :P
Penny 
Doodlebears
Nice one Jenny...
How's that baby girl doing...have you any pictures to share yet. Please don't share any like I received by email a while ago. My niece gave birth to a beautiful baby boy but photos of her giving birth was not something I'll cherish and show to the family. Yuk! Not that birth is yucky it was just the pictures of my niece in that state I found yucky...really yucky not to share pictures.
Jane 
Hi Jane...there's a nice picture on the other topic....
Jenny
Posts: 1,277Very funny Jenny! It's nice to start the day with a good giggle!
Sandi
Posts: 8,574Ahhh Jenny, thanks for the first laugh of the day.....
It's too early to be up here, and I started laughing out loud....ooops, that woke up the hubster who came stumbeling out.....
He said I just answered his question
What question?
He has been wondering if I laugh out loud when I am alone.
Doesn't everyone?
Aparently not him.....
I'm never alone though- there is always one or two cats on me and the bird is right next to my chair
he says that doesn't count.
Well I think his waking up early was worth the laugh yu sent us. Thanks
Matilda Huggington-beare :lol:I got quite a giggle Thankyou Jenny :dance: :dance:
UKhehehe love em !!
Ha! 
Past Time BearsThanks for the funnies!!!
Just Us BearsJane,
When my hubby and I were pregnant for the first time, we attended anti natal classes at the local community centre.
One night, they showed us a video of an actual birth. I went from being totally fascinated....to totally filled with horror, when I caught a glimpse of the girls face who was giving birth. She was someone I knew quite well....and I didn't want my hubby watching the rest! Ugh! They should use people from other states to make these vidoes! 
