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thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,645

I got this by email - brought a lot of chuckles as we have a small grandson and kids really do say exactly what they think LOL!

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.





A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'





A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'






One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'








The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'







A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


 

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Gijzette Elfin Bears
Mount Dora FL
Posts: 1,507
Website

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Hugs,

Melisa Nichols Melisa's Bears
Hazelton, BC
Posts: 5,811
Website

:crackup:   I especially like the one about mom & gramma's white hair...  children are smart!   bear_grin  Thank you for the laugh!   :hug:

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 22,144

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  Smart kids!

Dreli-Bears Dreli-Bears
Salzburg
Posts: 720
Website

Oh my God - my daughter and I can't help laughing - this is really wonderful - my daughter printed it out to take it to school tomorrow - think to English-lessons ......... funny funny funny - thank you for sharing it

rowarrior The Littlest Thistle
Glasgow
Posts: 6,212

Excellent, had to send the school photo one to a friend of mine that's a school photographer  bear_laugh

puca bears puca bears
Posts: 1,934

Brilliant! :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:   Thanks so much for sharing
huggies
Maria :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

Bubble-Up Bears Bubble Up Bears!
Murrieta, California
Posts: 1,804

hehe!
Thanks for sharing Brenda. bear_original
I'm going to send this to my sister. She loves these kinds of jokes. bear_original

binglebears bingle bears
Upstate, NY
Posts: 1,559

:crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

Aleta - The Silly Bear The Silly Bear
Portland, Oregon
Posts: 3,119
Website

Funny!!  :crackup:  :crackup:  :crackup:

sylvia bjb blue jean bears
Posts: 1,137
Website

Thanks, Brenda, for sharing. Kids do say the funniest things.....especialy the younger ones! :hug:  :hug:

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,645

Yes, kids to say the darndest things LOL!  Whenever our grandson is losing at Wii bowling (he is amazing at it), he tells us he's letting us win so we won't get upset!

susiray Bear-Hands
Algarve, Portugal
Posts: 482

they are great thankyou for giving my husband and me a good giggle xxx :crackup:

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