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Sherroy Sarchie
Tasmania
Posts: 192

Hello All

I recently made a Trumpet (elephant) and Wabito (Rabbit) designed by Jenny Lee from Jenny Loves Benny. I have been a big fan of her work for some time now.

My aunty has been very ill lately so for the last couple of weeks I set aside my own creations and made her a Trumpet (its was a surprise). Her favourite colour was green so I ordered in some green sparse mohair just for this particular creation. I put all my spare time into this, sometimes staying up until midnight knowing I will be working 8.30am - 5.00pm, When I finally finished the little guy I was so proud of it, I was starting to feel reluctant to send him away lol but I knew he was going to a great home.

Because my aunty lives in another state I was going to send it to my younger brother and get him to deliver it. Just my luck my older brother came over for the weekend and so I sent it back with him and My younger brother was to collect it. I have been really excited to hear of the emotions when it would be received. I have waited patiently all week, I got a call from younger brother this morning, he had gone to pick it up. and to my dismay my older brothers dog had destroyed it.  bear_shocked  bear_shocked  bear_shocked

Now I need to make a new one, but that is not the point. It made me upset to know that I put all my hard work into making something special and he just left it lying around for his dog to destroy. That no one else seems to appreciate what I did. bear_sad

I'm lucky my partner understands the work I put into him and was here to console me. I'm deeply hurt and sad, it tears my heart apart knowing what my poor trumpet went through.

I also made a wabito for my cousins birthday, going to the same place, he survived, at least someone will be happy.  bear_sad bear_sad  bear_sad  bear_sad

Us Bears Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,479

You need to tear your brother a new one... verbally, at minimum!

Your creation is much more than fabric, stuffing and thread.  It is a symbol that means you care about somebody.  You put your thoughts and best wishes for your aunt into your creation as you made it.  The destruction of your creation means the destruction of much more than the object itself.

It was very callous of your brother to let your thoughts and feelings be destroyed like that!  He deserves to be staked to an anthill!  bear_happy  bear_happy

joibear Tickled Pink Bears
Durango, Colorado
Posts: 467

bear_shocked  bear_shocked Oh my!!! I don't blame your disappointment one tiny bit!!!  Does he understand it was a heartfelt, hand-crafted item especially for a dear loved one?
HELLO!!!! 
I have a relative who let the family pet chew my son's and my belongings while we were staying with them.  Not handmade items but.....
the lack of consideration was really hurtful.  It even hurt my teen-aged son at the time to the point of tears....Even though we didn't have any other place to live at the time, we chose to leave very soon after that. 

So sorry,  :hug:
Kelly

rowarrior The Littlest Thistle
Glasgow
Posts: 6,212

Oh no, it's horrible when people are so thoughtless  :hug:  I think you should point out just how much work went into that, and get him to reimburse you for the wasted materials (I'd charge him for the full fat quarter of mohair too, even if you didn't use the whole thing, and have enough for another one).  Then point out how much these bears sell for.  It may shock him into realising it wasn't just a $2 stuffed toy!

puca bears puca bears
Posts: 1,934

I'm not surprised that you are upset!!!!!! Sadly some people just don't/wont  understand that our our creations are so much more than stuffed toys..........
big, sympathetic hugs
Maria

desertmountainbear desertmountainbear
Bloomsburg, PA
Posts: 5,399

Before you get too upset with your brother find out from him exactly what happened.   I can understand your sadness.  I would be devastated.   But before you put blame on him listen to him.  He may have left it somewhere he thought was safe.   Then make your decision whether or not to tear him a new one.

Joanne

joibear Tickled Pink Bears
Durango, Colorado
Posts: 467

Good thought Joanne.    bear_thumb

Kelly

Michelle Helen Chaska, Minnesota
Posts: 2,895

Dear Sherroy: I would be upset if that happened to one of my creations too. I wonder though, can your brother bring back the shredded elephant. Maybe it can be repaired.  I think, I'd send the new one via mail to your aunt. That way it will get to her safe and sound. So, sew a new one and let the past go. I am sure your brother did not think about how vulnerable and appetizing your little guy was to a dog. I bet he feels bad enough about the mishap. Ask yourself "is it worth hard feelings with my brother"? Meaning he made a mistake Sherroy. Let it go and ask yourself "is it worth being upset over something that has already been done"?   :hug:  :hug:

Us Bears Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,479
rowarrior wrote:

Oh no, it's horrible when people are so thoughtless  :hug:  I think you should point out just how much work went into that, and get him to reimburse you for the wasted materials (I'd charge him for the full fat quarter of mohair too, even if you didn't use the whole thing, and have enough for another one).  Then point out how much these bears sell for.  It may shock him into realising it wasn't just a $2 stuffed toy!

You're right!  People don't realize!

I do a lot of video and multimedia work to get income while I'm unemployed.  My stepsister got married about 2 months ago and I shot video of the wedding.  My wife shot photos... REAL photos, not digi-cam snaps.

Aside from the time spent at the wedding, I spent money on film, processing and I spent time developing, printing and digitally scanning.  Then I spent time editing the video, creating the DVD and packaging the whole thing.  I also printed and framed four traditional photos and made those part of the package.

Four hours at the wedding and reception plus several hours in the darkroom and many more hours at the computer all add up!  I spent 20 to 25 hours on the whole project.  I probably put $50 to $100 of my own money into materials.

Now, I would never think of charging my stepsister for her wedding video.  It was a wedding gift, for crying out loud!

However, nobody thought it amounted to very much.  It was just some pictures and a DVD.  Everybody was floored when I told them what my rates for this kind of work would be if I charged!  Just for reference, my "Friends and Family Rate" would be $15.00/hour and my regular rate would be $25.00.  On top of that, I would charge double for materials.  (I had to drive my own car to the store, didn't I?)  When it all comes out in the wash it would be $200.00 for materials and $300 for labor.  If it was my regular rate, instead of "Friends and Family," my rate would be $500.

Well, after the subject came up, I told them what my rates and you could just hear the chins hitting the floor!  Nobody realizes what things cost!  They all want everything for free!  They don't realize that a professional videographer would charge $100.00 per hour!

You're talking $100.00 per yard for fine mohair plush!  Then add in for stuffing, thread, supplies and finishings.  You probably spent $25.00 to $50.00 in just materials.  Right?  Now double that.  You're up to $100.00.  You probably spent 10 hours in labor.  At $10.00/hr that's another $100.00.

Your brother just fed $200.00 to his dog!

Now, I take Joanne's (desertmountainbear) advice seriously.  Certainly give your brother the benefit of the doubt.  I'm being somewhat dramatic because it is to make a point.  That point is that your creations are not trifles.  They are important.  They have meaning and they are symbols that you care for somebody.

Somebody who destroys that symbol is destroying the meaning and the care that you put into making it.  This isn't simply about the money.  These are your feelings and your feelings have value just like money.  Some people just don't understand the value of another person's feelings unless they are put in terms of money.

And, on top of it all, I gather that your aunt is rather special to you.  I'm sure that you put a lot of extra special care into making it JUST RIGHT, especially for her.  An extra special critter that you put extra special care and attention into making is probably worth $300 if it's worth a penny!

Joanne is right.  You should probably take some time to find out your brother's side of the story.  However, that doesn't mean you can't tell him how you feel.  Your emotions are important just because they are yours.  Besides, he's your family.  When it comes to family, you have an "extra special license" to tell people how you feel that you don't usually get when you're speaking to other people.

Sometimes, people think it's rude when my wife and I yell at each other.  (We don't yell or fight and argue.  We just say it like we mean it.)  Well, when my wife yells at me (speaks plainly) and people say, "Hey, she can't talk like that!" I just tell them that she has a license.  When they give me that characteristic, quizzical and confused look, I say... "A MARRIAGE licesne!"

So, when I said, "Tear your brother a new one," I was speaking rhetorically but I did mean it.

Yes, get his side of the story but don't be afraid to tell him what that elephant cost you to make and how much it means to you.  bear_thumb

desertmountainbear desertmountainbear
Bloomsburg, PA
Posts: 5,399

I do have this to add.  I would ask your brother to replace the mohair.  Whether it was on accident or just being careless he should buy the new piece.

Joanne

Us Bears Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,479

That would be fair.  bear_thumb

Sherroy Sarchie
Tasmania
Posts: 192

He may have left it somewhere he thought was safe.

he left it on the deck outside his bedroom where they have 5 dogs. He could have left it with my stepmother in the house but he is a nit wit.  bear_sad  he doesn't think about these sorts of things.

I dog sat for him for over a month reccently, his dog is destructive. we just had our house renovated and the dog made ruins of the back end of the house, chewed the architraves off the wall, pulled the boards off the back of the house, broke the fence.

When my brother was living close by i still had some of my possesions stored at my dads, old stuffed animls, ones i have had since I was very young and I found them in the back yard. I managed to rescue one.
My borther is careless and I can not be bothered arguing with him, so i'm just leaving it and will not trust him with a task like this ever again.

Thank you for all your support I knew you all would understand my pain.  bear_innocent

Us Bears Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,479

Even if you think your brother is a dimwit you should at least tell him how much it cost you to make your elephant.  Telling him gives you the moral upper hand.  Even if he doesn't pay you back it puts him on notice that you expect better behavior of him and it gives you the right to tell him off  the next time he asks you for a favor.

Sherroy Sarchie
Tasmania
Posts: 192

I made the elephant for my Aunt because she has been very unwell lately, she has had two heart attacks in 12 months and has an unstable Angina;  She is Diabetic, over weight and a heavy smoker which is very bad for her situation. She has tried to give up smoking but is having trouble due to all the stress she has in her life at the moment.

The card I made for her said You're Appreciated! just to let her know that I care.

Its still a secret so I will make another a take it myself or post it directly to her.

Us Bears Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,479

Y'know...  sometimes that kind of encouragement is what people need to keep them going when things are tough.

Maybe an elephant and some words of encouragement are what your aunt needs to put down the cigs for good.  If she can do that, let's hope she can take off some weight.  If she is able to do that a lot of the other stress and trouble in her life will, hopefully, start to get better too.

bear_thumb

Sherroy Sarchie
Tasmania
Posts: 192

Maybe an elephant and some words of encouragement are what your aunt needs to put down the cigs for good

I was hoping this would make a small differencs, just so she knows people care about her well being.

My older brother is one of those people that it doesn't matter what you say to him he will just say sorry to shut you up and then brush it off and go on his way. I can not be bothered talking to him right now, I don't even know what to say.  It made me very emotional and he knows already how much I put into that. I hope he does feel guilty! but he has not even tried to contact me to appologise or anything.  bear_sad

JanetB Posts: 112

Oh Sherroy, all that work! And what a disappointment.  Sending you lots of hugs.

Us Bears Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,479

Your brother probably won't call you.  If he's anything like my brother he'll try to sweep it under the rug as long as he can.  You shouldn't expect much from him except a simple, "Sorry."  However, you should tell him that you are upset and you should certainly tell him how much it cost and how many hours of time you put into making it.

Most people think of it as a trifle.  Even if you don't consider the emotional significance your elephant has real monetary value, it still cost money for the materials.  It cost money for your labor and your skill as an artist is a marketable commodity too.  Just the elephant's materials and labor is worth $150 to $200.  If you are a good artist, it's worth more.  (I am sure you are a good artist.)

Like I said, the guy basically fed $200 to his dog.

Regardless of whether he pays you back or apologizes or even just blows you off, he needs to understand this.  How and where you tell him this is up to you.  As you explain, I wouldn't expect much response from him.  My brother can be a real heel, too.  I don't think you should really bawl him out but this isn't about him.  It's about you.  It's important to get that across.

I can often tell a lot about people by the way they treat Bears.  If they fail the "Bear Test" it's a pretty safe bet that I won't think much of them.

Sherroy Sarchie
Tasmania
Posts: 192

I really appreciate all your kindness. You have all made me feel alot better, someone else that understands its not just a teddy.

Sherroy Sarchie
Tasmania
Posts: 192

I have uploaded some pictures of Trumpet in the showcase with the permission of Jenny Lee from Jenny Loves Benny.

Karon Posts: 751

Your story bough back memories of nine months ago!

As quite a few of know, on the 2nd of January, after breaking my ankle, I was dumped by my boyfriend of seven years.

One of the things that really hurt me was when he said that he had dumped three bears that I had made - two being ones that he had asked for cos he liked them and that I had freely given! 

It was a mean and spiteful thing to do - at least your brother is just plain careless!

Karon

Sherroy Sarchie
Tasmania
Posts: 192

That is really horrid Karon. I hope he misses those bears!!!
Some people are just so insensitive and careless.

Us Bears Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,479

He definitely fails the Bear Test!   bear_angry

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