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Upstate New YorkThe company Christmas party ...
FROM: Patty Smith, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
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FROM: Patty Smith, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree. No Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
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FROM: Patty Smith, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
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FROM: Patty Smith, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December coincides with the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party-- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. [INVALID] do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
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FROM: Patty Smith, Human Resources Director
TO: All #%&$ing Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The #$%*!@% Holiday Party
Vegetarians?!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them
scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die, you hear me!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
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FROM: Joan Nordhey, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Smith and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Smith a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan
HA... <ouch>... :doh: ... how true it is...
Posts: 3,177heee heeee heeeee 
How very politically correct Deb and totally mad of course - very funny
Penny - gravitationally challenged :dance:
Winneybears and FriendsLOve it ! and how true...drives ya mad...poor Penny. Thanks for posting this,,gave me a big laugh !....Winney
Past Time BearsI am a Christian. I was baptized as an infant and have been active in United Methodist Churches throughout my life. I am the granddaughter of an ordained minister, the wife of an ordained minister and am an ordained minister myself with two seminary degrees from Duke University. I'd be lying if I said I was never angered or offended by anything, but in the wake of the season's Christmas vs. Holiday debate, here are three things that most assuredly do not offend me in the least:
Holiday
"Holiday" seems to have become the politically correct substitute for "Christmas." We say "Happy Holidays" and refer to the Holiday Season so as not to offend anyone that does not celebrate Christmas. But "holiday" literally means "holy day," derived from the German word meaning the same. It can potentially cover Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza and anything else sacred celebrated in December, but it certainly isn't secular. When someone tells me "Happy Holidays," I accept it as a well wish for the holy day I am celebrating, which is Christmas.
Xmas
When I was in elementary school, we were supposed to write a one-page story about Christmas. I was running out of room at the very end, so instead of writing out the word, I put "Xmas" to save room. My teacher gently told me that "Xmas" was not appropriate because it takes the meaning out of the word (translate: Christ out of Christmas). I avoided ever using that abbreviation again -- until college. There I learned that the Greek letter "chi" (which is written "X") is the first letter in "Christ." The chi (X) symbol has been used by the church for centuries. You've probably seen the chi rho symbol (the X with the P going through the center) on church paraments, banners and stoles. Again, the symbol is for Christ, using the first two Greek letters of the word. That particular symbol also saves seminarians a lot of time when they're taking notes in class! So rather than crossing out and canceling the meaning of Christmas, the X is the traditional symbol for Christ.
Merry Christmas
Naturally, this greeting does not offend me. But I have often wondered if it would if I practiced a different faith tradition. The only way I know to figure this out is to imagine that I'm in a Jewish community and have just been wished a blessed Rosh Hashanah or a Muslim community and just been wished a blessed Ramadan. What I hope is that I would have enough respect for the person and his/her faith to look past the fact that even though I don't celebrate those holy days, that person is wishing me well. He/She is wishing me the blessings that their faith brings, and I hope that would humble rather than anger me. And I hope I would be interested enough to find out more about that particular holiday so that I am more well-informed about my community.
Those three things do not offend me as a Christian. We live in a pluralistic, diverse society and cannot assume all people think or feel the same way. As a Christian, I am most comfortable saying "Merry Christmas" to those whom I know practice Christianity and "Happy Holidays" to those about whom I don't know -- because I want them to have happy, holy days, whatever faith they practice, and happy, holy days if they practice no faith tradition at all. Wishing holiness upon someone--anyone-- even in the simplest of greetings can certainly be a prayer and a sacred moment.
Blessings to you and yours during these holy days.
Pam Holcomb-McLain
Irving, TX
December 19, 2005
This was written by my younger daughter, and I think she addresses this subject very well. Of course since I'm her mother, I could be somewhat biased.
Patsy Lake BearsI think it is wonderful Sue Ann ..... she did indeed address it superbly well done
Upstate New YorkOf course since I'm her mother, I could be somewhat biased.
Maybe ... but you should be; that's lovely.
Ruby Mountain Bears That expresses it beautifully
Beautifully said. I like this sentiment and the phrasing she chose to express it, in particular:
We live in a pluralistic, diverse society and cannot assume all people think or feel the same way.
I wish those in power in this great, big world of ours unanimously shared this wise and tolerant philosophy.
bears by beesley TMJust great Deb and Sue Ann! We are all one! Love the humor and needed the smile and the laugh! Thanks for sharing!
Many Hugs Louise
