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MerBear MerBear Originals
Brockville, Ontario
Posts: 1,540

MerBear

If there was a school for men - here is the course load:

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right
Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4
weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors


PS....Come on ladies; I'm sure we can come up with a few more handy courses that would make men's lives so much easier.

Marion

lapousmor Sophie Z'Ours
Sarthe, France
Posts: 2,770

lapousmor

bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin  bear_grin

Beary hugs,
Sophie.

SueAnn Past Time Bears
Double Oak, Texas
Posts: 21,917

SueAnn Help Advisor, Banner Sponsor

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!   bear_laugh  bear_grin   bear_laugh   bear_grin  bear_laugh  bear_grin  bear_laugh  bear_grin

thumperantiques Newcastle, Ontario
Posts: 5,645

thumperantiques

Now that's priceless and sooooo true!  Brenda

Estelle Estelles canal bears and Tod Teddies
Todmorden West Yorkshire
Posts: 370

Estelle

a course in asking directions instead of driving around lost for ages

psichick78 Flying Fur Studios
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,073

psichick78

That's way too funny!!!  bear_laugh  bear_laugh  bear_laugh  bear_laugh

patsylakebears Patsy Lake Bears
Sydney
Posts: 3,442

patsylakebears

Love it and so needed  bear_laugh  bear_laugh  bear_laugh

jenny Three O'clock Bears
warwickshire uk
Posts: 4,413
Website

jenny

How about these then:

'Reality check course for those with short arms and long pockets....yes, prices have gone up since 1960 and this course brings you bang up to date' My husband seriously needs to go on this one

and ' How to dance at weddings without everyone within 10 yards suddenly pretending they don't know you....bring your own disco music for this one...sorry guys, no lycra allowed'

I Love Teddies South Florida
Posts: 1,684
Website

I Love Teddies

Too funny!!!   a080.gif

Daphne Back Road Bears
Laconia, NH USA
Posts: 6,568

Daphne

jenny wrote:

'Reality check course for those with short arms and long pockets....yes, prices have gone up since 1960 and this course brings you bang up to date' My husband seriously needs to go on this one

So does mine!!! He's 43 going on 73 and refuses to buy or gripes about the price of so many things. Like THAT'S going to help! He wants his pay check to increase every year. Well, so does the store owner, the manufacturers, etc. so they have to raise prices. Why is that so hard for an engineer to understand? Oh, wait... that would be a 'common sense' thing and engineers don't have that.  :doh:  (I really do love my hubby to pieces but sometimes......  bear_wacko  )

Cleathero Creations Cleathero Creations
Ripley, Queensland
Posts: 1,925

Cleathero Creations

bear_grin  bear_laugh  bear_grin  bear_laugh
I got this in an email once.  I ticked quite afew of them.

Sandi.S. Posts: 1,277

Sandi.S.

How about this one:

Becoming Self-Efficient--With live demonstrations on making coffee and picking out your own underwear.
Meetings held every Saturday at 2:00 p.m. and will continue until you figure it out!

rufnut Rufnut Teddy's
Victoria Australia
Posts: 2,725

rufnut

Hehehehehe wonderful Marion, thanks for sharing.  :clap:

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