Banner Sponsors
For artists and collectors sponsored by Intercal...your mohair supplier and Johnna's Mohair Store
Back Road Bears
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the “Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question...
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Budd Bears BoutiqueLove it Daphne. I had to forward this one on to one of my friends, she is also a dog lover.
Apple Dumpling Designs
Luxembears
Numbers 3, 14, and 16 are my favorite!
Posts: 3,177HA HA HA
Nice one Daffers!!!! 
Thanks for sharing
Penny 
MerBear Originalsso true in so many many ways. My old cat threw up this morning, from on top of the fridge of course, and my Boston was very quick to try to 'clean up' for her. Last night they also tried to make a squeak toy of the other cat, unsuccessfully I may add. I don't think they realize they don't have testicles anymore - at least they still have the attitude of a 'normal' dog.
Marion
Posts: 434
Past Time Bears:clap: :clap: :clap: 
Chowlea BearsBrilliant - a Lady after my own heart. :clap:
Sandra
Posts: 3,540 
I just love this one!
:clap: :clap: Oh i can't stop laughing now.
Hugs
Vicki
Mountain Dreamer Bears
Love it!
Back Road BearsGlad you're getting a laugh!
I couldn't stop!!
Charlotte Des Roches Designsthat is a great one!!!! still roflmbo...I love it!!!! Did you write that?
Country BearsSo True!! Oh Daphne, I was in hysterics!!
Thank you!!
Back Road BearsNo, I didn't write that.
With what we're going thru with our wheaten terriers right now I'd have written something about how bloody defiant and stubborn dogs can be.... thinking they own the world.
Newcastle, OntarioDaphne,
Just sent a copy of this to my niece - had tea today with her and Deb Burnham and we were reading your post about your pups and the bunny. It led to a huge discussion on dog behaviour modification and this is just icing on the cake! Thanks so much!!!
Hugs,
Brenda
Back Road BearsMy next dog will be a Golden Retreiver, no question! Hubs will just have to stock up on allergy pills!
Terriers are not for the weak!!!!!! (Which I am!) Trying to stay one step ahead of them is IMPOSSIBLE! Exhausting actually!
Brenda, I hope you had a nice lunch and discussed more pleasant things as well!!! :)
:hug: Daphne
This is too funny!
I emailed this to some people.
Posts: 2,203Love it! My dogs would offer that prayer.
BrozZ BearZ Newcastle, OntarioHi Daphne,
Yes, we did have a nice tea party, thank you and did lots of "bear things". We were also on teddy-talk reading your post about your pups and you bunny, and it started the ball rolling. You're not the only one on TT with pooch problems! Deborah has a boxer that has taken her to the limits of exasperation - he is a rescue dog and is a sweetie, but boy is he bad!!! See - you're not alone with your badly behaved canines. At least your dogs are on the small side! I, however, will stick with my kitties, even though one of then could earn the right to any of the "attack cat" signs on the market. I have tried to tell my realtor to make sure NO ONE tries to pet my cats, cuz one of them will certainly take a chunk out of whoever it is! It's really making me nervous about showing the house, and if I put him outside, he'll just hang around the porch, rubbing the legs of anyone who comes to see the house, and then will invariably bite the first one that tries to pet him. Any child in my neighbourhood will tell a newcomer or visitor "Thumper bites!!" It's worse than having a dog, cuz I can't tie him up LOL!
Hugs,
Brenda
Cleathero CreationsI love it!
