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gotobedbears Posts: 3,177

This was sent to me in an email - it really made me laugh. Are'nt kids great?!?!!
:rolleyes:


Pay special attention  to the wording and spelling. If you know the Bible
> even a little,  you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a catholic
> elementary school  test. Kids were asked questions about the old and new
> testaments. The  following statements about the bible were written by
> children. They  have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling
> has been left  in.
>
>
> 1. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis. God  got tired of creating
> the
> world so he took the Sabbath  off.
>
> 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's  wife was Joan of
> Ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in  pears.
>
> 3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a  ball of fire
> during
> the night.
>
> 4. The Jews were  a proud people and throughout history they had trouble
> with  unsympathetic Genitals.
>
> 5. Sampson was a strongman who let  himself be led astray by a jezebel like
> Delilah.
>
> 6.  Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
>
> 7.  Moses led the Jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread
>  which is bread without any ingredients.
>
> 8, The Egyptians were  all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went
> up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten  commandments.
>
> 9. The first commandments was when Eve told Adam  to eat the apple.
>
> 10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not  admit adultery.
>
> 11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada.  Then Joshua led the Hebrews
> in the battle of Geritol. (Geritol is a  multivitamin available in the US.)
>
> 12. The greatest  miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand
> still and he  obeyed him.
>
> 13. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at  playing the liar. He fought
> the Finkelsteins, a race of people who  lived in biblical times.
>
> 14. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had  300 wives and 700 porcupines.
>
> 15. When Mary heard she was the  mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
>
> 16. When the three  wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus
> in the  manager.
>
> 17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate  contraption.
>
> 18. sSt. John the Blacksmith dumped water on his  head.
>
> 19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do  unto others before
> they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not  live by sweat alone.
>
> 20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from  the dead and managed to get the
> tombstone off the  entrance.
>
> 21. The people who followed the Lord were called the  12 decibels.
>
> 22. The epistels were the wives of the  apostles.
>
> 23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also  a taximan.
>
> 24. St.  Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony  which is
> another name for marraige.
>
> 25. Christians have  only one spouse. This is called  monotony

Amanda Pandy Potter Bears
Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 1,864

Don't they teach religous education in schools anymore? Kids hey. My daughter goes a church of England school and has been to a Synagogue (hope thats how you spell it), Mosque and goes to the local church. We are not practising Church of England, but I like that she learns all these things. Its her desicion later. You have to laugh though at the kids. Her school is St Matthews so I will have to tell her he drove the taxis to make ends meet.

As to the last one, they could be right!!!!

Eileen Baird'sBears
Toronto
Posts: 3,873

bear_grin bear_grin bear_grin These are FANTASTIC, Penny! Quel Hoot!  bear_grin bear_grin bear_grin

Eileen

Sandi.S. Posts: 1,277

How cute and funny. I sure needed a little laugh this morning! And although I am only eternally engaged and not married...I think I would agree that #25 just might be correct!

Dilu Posts: 8,574

Thank you my dear, for such a good giggle.....printed it up for the hubs who is a slug-a-bed this am.....It is after all 0700.


This was priceless


for everything else there's Mastercard

bear_tongue

doodlebears Doodlebears
UK
Posts: 7,414

doodlebears Celebration Ambassador

Ha, ha, ha! Penny I have printed this off for my son. He is very religious and will love to share this with his friends at church.
Aren't kids funny    I just cracked up at 'The seventh commandment is thou shalt not  admit adultery. Boy what kind of person will this kid turn out to be!

Jane.  bear_grin bear_grin bear_grin bear_grin

Eileen Baird'sBears
Toronto
Posts: 3,873

It's not as good a kid-glitch as Penny's, but has anyone else ever heard of "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear"?

Eileen

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